Guest: Kenzie Shaak Returns

She's back at the kitchen table (which is also technically her kitchen table, too)!  This week, Kenzie Shaak returns for what started out as a yap about over-the-top parent behaviors, but unraveled into topics like the impact of social media on player image, how parents probably do way too much for their kids, the many referees called Jerry, instituting a hell week, and four good things about a very shitty week.

Welcome to Kenzie's Corner!  Get cozy!

This week's small business spotlight is on Umber Chocolates.

Find Umber Chocolates on Instagram / Threads: @umberchocolatespgh

Find Umber Chocolates on Facebook: \umberchocolatespgh

Order Umber Chocolates at www.umberchocolatespgh.com

Intro riff by Dale Lytle (concert husband).

All content edited (I use that term very loosely) by Karen Shaak.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This week's At My Kitchen Table Small Business Spotlight shines on Umber Chocolates. Umber Chocolates is a Pittsburgh-based female and minority-owned company that creates handcrafted luxury chocolates. Each piece is a hand-painted, edible work of art filled with flavors inspired by books, flavor trends, travels, and imagination. They're almost too pretty to eat, but also too delicious not to. Visit the Umber Chocolates website at www.umberchocolates.com to place an order. I promise you, teabags, you will not regret it. They are amazing chocolates, great as gifts, or if you're just trying to treat yourself. This week, Kenzie Chalk returns for what started out as a yap about over-the-top parent complaints, but unraveled into topics like the impact of social media on player image, how parents probably do way too much for their kids, the many referees called Jerry, instituting a hell week, and four good things about a very shitty week. Welcome to Kenzie's Corner. Okay, but you just like bent down and talked into it. Are you gonna talk into your mic like that the whole time? Maybe. Don't do that. Somebody has some more.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

Just kidding. Okay, that's Mike check. One, two, three. Hey teabags. She's back.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

Do you want to give a reintro of yourself? Because we may have new teabags who did not hear your first episode. Or even some who were just like, oh yeah, I think I knew who that is because it's her kid, but I don't really remember and just needs a little reintro.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Sure. I'm Kenzie. I am the youngest of your three ducklings.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

A little louder. You were doing great before.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

I got nervous. I work for Carnegie Mellon University. I coach high school girls across. I love to read, travel, go to concerts, comedy shows, theater. That's about it. Work, sleep, repeat.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

Yes, that is exactly. In fact, if I go back and listen to your first episode, that's probably almost exactly what it was. So also podcast, sleep, repeat. Yes. Nice. Well, I appreciate you joining me. We're doing this a little bit differently. So for those teabags who have actually been guests or who have talked to me about potentially talking on the podcast, you know that I do a lot of due diligence ahead of time to set up guardrails so that we don't like go off track or go off the rails or sit in silence. Like I ask a question and the person just responds like, Yep, nope. Like I like to have a little bit of a game plan in place. And this time I had a topic instead and chatted with Ken's and was like, hey, would love it if you would join me and just talk about it. So we're doing this a little bit more off the cuff today. And the topic that has been sort of swirling for me a little bit is the idea of we can call it helicopter parenting. I almost wanted to call it parental overreach, but then I'm like, all right, if a kid is under the age of 18, is it really overreach? No. So we'll just call it helicopter parenting. And the reason why I asked Kenzie to join me for it is because it's a topic that comes up for us more often because of sports, but it's not limited to sports. So we're gonna dive into some things that she sees as a coach, not specifics. This isn't about throwing real people under the bus, but these are generalities. But we're also gonna talk about it from the fact that, you know, I used to run sports organizations when the kids were younger. So, like from youth on up, the difference in what we should be seeing, really, I think from parents of high school kids. But then we got to talk about college too, because I think we were all a little bit blindsided when you guys went off to college, and parental orientations included the topics of why it's important that you don't reach out to your kids' professors. So, anyway, yeah, I mean, that was a lot that felt a little rambly, but that is sort of the topic. So I appreciate you saying sure, I'll I'll talk about this topic without throwing people under the bus. So, for the teabags, how long have you been coaching? And I would say include everything, not just what you're doing now.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Probably about eight years, eight to ten-ish. I mean, I helped with like summer leagues and stuff when I like before I went to college when I was still in high school, and then even into college, and then when I was in college, I was coaching the middle school level, pre-COVID, and then when COVID hit, I stopped because the world stopped. Um, and then post-COVID, I started at the high school level. So um, and this is my fourth year with the high school, so probably all together eight to ten years of all that.

SPEAKER_00 5:35

And in that time, can you talk a little bit about some of the parental issues that may have come up? Not that were actual issues. I like obviously, parents let's establish the fact that you know your children are your responsibility. And if something not good is happening, like of course it is well within your right and responsibility to approach coaches and and teachers and you know what have you. So this is not about that. But can you talk a little bit about the types of things that you have seen, whether it's at the youth or middle school level or at the high school level, in what we could consider helicopter parenting or or maybe just like being shocked as shit that somebody had the balls to like come to a coach with certain types of complaints.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

Oh my gosh, I don't I don't even know where to start. Yeah, I it's crazy the amount of things that I've seen over the years. I think it's crazy just the amount of stuff that parents will do for their kids. Talk a little bit about that. Like in what way? I'm like I like I can't even think of an example right now that's just like popping out.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

If I could tell you what my bugaboo was, I actually had a person that I knew in my life who had a kid playing high school sports who would quote forget stuff like every single day. It was almost every single day. And she would be like, Oh, I have to go up to the school to take my kid there, fill in the blank. It could be sneakers, cleats, practice uniform, forgot this for an away game, you know, whatever. And the problem wasn't that he was forgetful, it was just he was careless entirely because he knew she was just gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

Yeah. I mean, I know that's that's a big one. I think that's that's definitely part of it. I I mean, I hear the girls even now will tell them, don't forget to wash your pennies. And there's times where they'll be like, oh well, my mom didn't wash it. It's like, wash your own damn penny. Or they'll be like, well, I don't know where it is. And it'll be like, oh, well, my mom probably took it out of my bag to wash it. Well, it's not her job to take out your bag to wash it. What do you mean? But I know like over the years, even when I played, there like I had teammates that their parents would drop off food for them every day. Like pack a meal for them and drop it off every day before a game, before a practice, whatever. Drive drive it up to the school, drop it off.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

Yeah. So I I mean Now you're making me feel like maybe I underparented.

SPEAKER_02 8:40

Well, I mean, if the shoe fits. But yeah, I I just think there's it's just crazy the amount of things that parents do. If they don't like the shoes, like the running shoes that they have that day, they'll be like, oh well, my dad's coming to drop off a different pair of shoes for me. I don't I don't like the ones for practice today. I'm like, you've gotta be kidding. Is that like that's an actual thing that has happened? That happened. Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Yeah. And like So it's like so much worse than even I thought.

SPEAKER_02 9:11

Yeah. The summer camp that I ran this past year, one of the parents pulled their daughter because it was simply too hot. And I was like, okay, but you knew that. Like it's summer. It's it's summer, and we prepared for it, and you know, I provided snacks and Gatorade, and of course, we would give them breaks, and we had, you know, like water balloons and whatever that like we made it fun. It wasn't like, you know, we were killing them. These weren't football two-a-days. This was a yeah, instructional camp. Yeah, it was fun and whatever. And she pulled her and like asked for her money back. Like, how do we get our money back? And I was like, no, you chose this, yeah, so you're not getting your money back, like because it was too hot in the summer. It's too hot. Okay, yeah. So I just think there's a there's a whole bunch of things.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

What about complaints? So think about like in-season complaints. Games have started, you know, whatever. And again, the whatever level, it's this, it's I I just want to provide examples from a coaching standpoint of things that are maybe over the top.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

I mean, I think number one is playing time. That's the the biggest complaint you're gonna get from parents. Why is my daughter not starting? Why does she not get playing time? Why is she the first one pulled off the field? Those are usually the biggest ones we get. Besides that, it's it's usually gonna be like a communication issue. Like, well, why are they double rostered? Why are they on JV too? That was never communicated. Or because they're a certain age, they shouldn't be on JV. And that's actually not how it works. A varsity team is supposed to be the competitive team that is going to win you championships. It doesn't matter how old you are, whether you're a senior, whether you're a freshman, if you are a good player and you're going to win us a championship, you're on a varsity team.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 11:23

And if you are maybe not so skilled, you're going to be on the JV team working on your skills to maybe eventually sometime work your way up to the varsity team. It's the builder program. That's how it works.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

Do you feel like in these situations that you're talking about, the girls themselves do know what's actually happening and are and the failure in communication isn't actually between coaches and players. The failure in communication tends to be more between players and their parents.

SPEAKER_02 12:02

I think it's a mixed bag. I think the players that are serious about playing, that really truly want to be there and care about the sport and will potentially play post-high school, know. And and generally are the ones that tend to be on varsity anyways, or are working to get there. They tend to know where like where they stand or how to get there.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

Got it.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

And while because I'm a junior or senior, blah blah blah, and they don't actually listen to the fact that, you know, no spots guaranteed and you have to work for it, blah, blah, blah. We have all those meetings. Those are, I mean like parent meetings and player meetings, right? Pre-for the season. Yeah. We have all those meetings that's put out there prior to season ever starts. So, and like you said, it's to the parents and the players. And so we are very clear with them prior to. I think where that miscommunication is, like you said, between players and parents, I think they tend to get half the story. Once practices are happening and games are happening, they're going home complaining about something and they're maybe not saying the whole story. And so then when the parents come to coaches, they're only getting half that story because they're hearing what the girls want them to hear, and they're not getting the whole picture. I think also sometimes, and this has been the scenario that I have been in. I mean, really the past several years, I think it's been the worst this year, but I think communication has lacked. It has been harder this year to manage, so I think I've had to pick up some of that slack. But I think I'm very clear where they stand. And I think with me and at least um the other assistant who have played the sport before, we are very intense with where we stand on the sport, and we see their potential, and they know where we see their potential, and we really push them. And so I think they respect our position more so. And so I think the way they come to us more so than maybe the other two, that that line of communication is a little more clear between the players and coaches. That makes sense. That makes it a little bit easier, at least. Yeah, and then and that really goes for JV too. I think that's been a little bit easier, at least. At least over this season.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

It's interesting because you've brought up a couple of things and I just jotted a couple of notes because I wanted to make sure we came back to them. You mentioned the word image before, and I think that this is really interesting too, because as I I know people whose grandkids now are starting to play sports. I still have friends who have kids who are playing, you know, whether it's high school or collegiate level or what have you. And I think image is an interesting word because I think I think, and I don't want to assume, so correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you used that almost as a more of like the status of a position on the field. But I think what I find interesting about it is I think image is also playing a role in how players are experiencing their sport now, too, through things like social media. Because it feels very much like a lot of teams and a lot of sports organizations. Like back in back in my day, back when you guys were doing youth and middle school sports, like the biggest social, there was no social media, the biggest presence online was that we had websites for the organizations. And yeah, you could maybe throw a picture on there, like some congratulations, and you can make it nice, but it was more about the org and not about individuals. Whereas now with social media and almost every team and every org having social media accounts, is there a sense that some kids are featured where other kids aren't? Or and I I guess the question is in those cases, and maybe you don't even know the answer to this, but are the actual orgs themselves running these accounts or are these like player-driven accounts? Like that's it's a world that I don't have a lot of insight into, but I can only imagine that that has to contribute to some some issues.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

So we have both. We have one that is run by the school that is run through the athletics department.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

Okay, like social channels, social media.

SPEAKER_02 17:23

Yeah, okay, that is more org-based, that is not well kept up with. Okay. It is not as active. I would say the m the closer we get to playoffs, it is more active. We have one that is run by the players that is active every single day. That is, it's not school affiliated.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:49

And it says it right on all in the page that it is not affiliated. It is very silly. They post weird pictures, videos, whatever. I will say I think they do a good job, including everybody.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 18:06

They have representation, I think, from both the JV and the varsity team.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

With all different groups. You have a whole team of girls that tends to be very clicky. You have girls that are friends outside of the team that, you know, hang out and whatever. And so you tend to get pictures that are sent in of girls that hang out outside of, you know, whatever. So sometimes there are girls that are not included in things. I think that they do a good job of trying to take pictures of everybody or including pictures of everybody in these posts. So every game day there's some mix of pictures in every one of their posts. They do theme practices, things like that. So every practice will have a post. After every game, we choose a player of the game for both JV and varsity. They get their own post every game. If someone is going to college.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

Oh, like like if there is a signing day or something. Yes. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:17

If they have a signing day, if they whether they sign or if they are accepted into college or commit. That's what I that's the word I was looking for.

SPEAKER_00 19:28

Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_02 19:29

If they commit to play at a college, they're posted, but usually so there was a girl who committed to play in college. She posted it on her own Instagram and it was reposted by our Instagram that is not school affiliated.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

Right. The one that the girls run.

SPEAKER_02 19:50

Yes, that that our team runs. There was a mom who was upset that her daughter, who is a senior, was not posted on our page. That is, again, not run by the school. It is run by the girls. So it had nothing to do with the coaches, too. But it was the coach's fault.

SPEAKER_00 20:13

So it became a complaint, is what you're saying.

SPEAKER_02 20:15

It was a parent complaint that her daughter was not posted on the page. And we couldn't do anything about it because we don't run the page and it is not run by the school. And so our coach took the blame for it with the other coaches. So I was roped right into that one too. As my fault, even though we had nothing to do with that as well.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

Yeah. And this is the kind of stuff that I think, you know, when I hear about it, it just grinds my gears so much because I mean, I was already starting to have issues with this back in the day when, you know, when you guys were very involved in youth and middle school sports. And so just for the teabags, when I say running the organizations, I mean literally at various points was, you know, running youth football. I helped, you know, coach with youth cheerleading. I helped run youth lacrosse. I helped, I was just on the board for youth baseball. So it was like part of it, but not, I wasn't running it. Um, same thing with like youth wrestling. And so, you know, to varying degrees across multiple sports, had heavy involvement in the running of those sports. And inevitably, we had ended up having to put in place across, I think, every single one of them, information that we gave out at the parent meeting at the beginning of every season about what we would and would not accept as you know, complaints. Like obviously, again, going back to what I said at the beginning, there are legitimate reasons for parents to be engaging with coaches 100%. So this is not like a parent should keep their mouths shut kind of a thing. It's it's not about that. But we had to do it because the level at which Which we were seeing parent complaints so far outpaced what you know, 15 years prior, 20 years prior, any of us had gone through in our own sports, whether it was youth in middle school or high school sports. I mean, again, back in my day, I mean, parents didn't even fucking come. Like I was getting rides to my softball games, I was getting, you know, picked up, dropped off, whatever. Because nine times out of 10, my parents couldn't make games. And so to me, the whole like parents getting in a coach's face to ask all this stuff was that was not a thing that existed. And so when you guys were coming up and any of you had issues with why am I not playing? Why am I not playing this position? We felt very strongly, and your dad coached across like all of those sports too. We felt very strongly that that was like, that's not our business, that's your business. And so if you want to know why you're not playing, what do we tell you to do? You go to your coach. You go to your coach. And so when I hear about things like parents showing up at, you know, at a varsity level, wanting to have conversations about things that quite frankly, I feel are frivolous and stupid. And I'm I'll say it and I don't care how much shit I take for it. My goal as a parent isn't to make sure that your picture gets put out on Instagram, on some Instagram account. I could give a fuck about that. And so as I hear, again, this is fresh because you know, you're coaching right now, and so we do tend to talk about it a little bit more, but but it I think it also transcends sports. And so there's been almost this evolution of how parents engage with coaches, with sports organizations, whatever. And, you know, I used to sort of to blow off steam and alleviate, you know, the irritation that I felt. My go-to joke was like, all these people think that their kids are going to be signing baseball contracts at the end of their fucking eight-year-old baseball season. It's the the level of ridiculous that I saw was like, oh God, I can't wait to not be involved in this stuff anymore. And I used to also joke too with we did a lot of things in conjunction with some of the high school programs when you guys were youth in middle school. And I would joke all the time with like the football coaches at the high school and be like, yeah, I'm about to write a book, How Not to Be an Asshole Sports Parent. And anytime I would see some of those guys, like in the halls or whatever, out of season, they'd be like, Mrs. Shock, when's that book coming out? We've got stories we can add. When's that book coming out? So it was always like a joke. But now with the advent of social media and being able to reach your kids at all times, it's almost like this level of parents. This is how I see it. Almost like parents are offended that their kids aren't better than they are or aren't playing more than they feel like they should be. So it's almost like this reflection of them in some way. And so they're the ones that are showing up and and complaining.

SPEAKER_02 25:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:12

I'm gonna stop there. Like, I don't know what you think about any or all of that, but it's a particular peeve of mine and has been for a really long time.

SPEAKER_02 25:21

Yeah. No, I th I think that's real. And we talked about that as coaches right after that happened, too, because that's we had to have a meeting with a parent of a senior. She's 18 years old. She's about to go off to college. And us as coaches were like, is the mom gonna email her college professors next year? Does she email her high school teachers when she gets a bad grade?

unknown 25:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

When she doesn't agree with something? Yeah. How does she not make her handle her own stuff? Because she never once came to us.

SPEAKER_00 26:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:02

We had one conversation with her. We thought we had an understanding, we were good. And the day before she requested this meeting, we had a great practice with her. So we were frankly blindsided by this parent meeting.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

Yeah. So I think what's interesting though to the question that you just raised, which is, is she, and again, this is not about her. This is about the behavior in general. Like 100%. Um she's just a mom who loves her kid. Like this is it's not throwing anybody under the bus. But what's interesting about that is the answer is probably yes, which is also a little like I I was my flabbers were gasted. Okay. When let's talk about what your college orientation sounded like. Set set that scene, because I think your flabbers were gasted too.

SPEAKER_02 26:57

Wasn't it Patrick's?

SPEAKER_00 26:59

Patrick's was one, but yours was the other. With the Dean of Students who was chatting in the big room at La Roche and I don't remember mine honestly. Talking about how her rule was if somebody has a question about their grades, that they should feel free to reach out to the professor, but that they will not accept parents reaching out on behalf of their adult children about their grades and about makeup work. And she she outlined a scenario where it said this woman who is the dean of students and was also a professor, so she actively was teaching classes, had already gone through the spiel at orientation. And still, the day she was handing back an exam, there a girl picked up her phone, gets on the phone, and then hands the phone out to the professor and is like, My mom wants to talk to you about my grade. I do remember this now. That was probably worse than even what happened at Patrick's orientation. Yes. I was like, Are you fucking joking right now? Yes, I do remember that.

SPEAKER_02 28:03

Well, I didn't get bad grades, so it's never an issue.

SPEAKER_00 28:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:09

So this doesn't apply to me, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

Yeah. I just always felt very strongly that it was our job to arm you to figure out your stuff. And so it's not my job to call a college professor, to email a college professor, um, unless you're incapacitated in some way. Like if you're in a horrible accident and you're lying in the hospital, yes, I will reach out to your college professor. But beyond that, it's equipping you with the coping skills and the communication skills to reach out and talk to those people yourselves.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

Right.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

Patrick's orientation was different. Literally sat in with all the parents. Um, the kids had left the room. So Patrick was not in the room at the time. And Dean of Students was like, okay, I need to get really real with you guys because we're finding like an alarming rate of kids who are not capable. And so they wanted a show of hands. How many of you make your kids do chores? And it was appalling because only half the room raised their hands. And she said, keep your hands up. And then she was like, How many of them know how to operate a washing machine and a dryer? Bunch of hands went down. And then she was like, and how many of you have kids who know how to operate a vacuum cleaner? And more hands went down. And it got to the point where there were only a handful of us with hands in the air still by the end of all of her questions. And she basically said to everybody, you've got two months to teach them because they are required to clean up after themselves. And they're going to have to do their laundry and they're going to have to get along with a roommate who is also coming into this situation, probably not knowing the same things your kid doesn't know. So different, but same problem, right? It like again, parents just doing everything for them and not expecting that they're going to have to eventually do it themselves. So yours was worse though. Yours was worse. You got nothing, nothing on that one?

SPEAKER_02 30:23

No.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

I mean, not in a coaching scenario because we don't do chores.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

No, but I think it's similar though. There's just similar situations, right?

SPEAKER_02 30:33

Right, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 30:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:34

I mean, it still goes back to parents doing everything for them. They're still washing their pennies and bringing them new shoes that they don't like. And when they forget their sticks at home, and you know.

SPEAKER_00 30:48

What do you think some of the things are that can be done about these scenarios? Their parents saying no.

SPEAKER_02 30:55

Sorry. You don't wash your penny, then you stink at practice.

SPEAKER_00 31:01

That's sort of the least of the issues, too, right? It's like if you forget your stick, I bet if they don't bring it and you have to sit out at practice and then you don't play the next day. And look like an idiot, then yeah. And or you borrow someone else's stick. Or it'll probably make you remember to bring your fucking stick next time.

SPEAKER_02 31:16

Yeah, you look like a dum-dum. So sorry. Like you don't like the running shoes you brought that day. So what? Suck it up. Yeah. You forgot your cleats, then wear your running shoes for practice. It doesn't make a difference.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:28

Or you forgot shoes altogether. Yeah. And you sit out of practice. And then when you sit out of practice, you sit out of the game the next day.

SPEAKER_00 31:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:38

But again.

SPEAKER_00 31:39

It's how we learn.

SPEAKER_02 31:41

Yeah. You you learn lessons that way. Yeah. And your parents can't bail you out all the time. Because also, like, even if I did that, like you guys worked. You couldn't just drop everything to do that all the time. Like, what do these parents do?

SPEAKER_00 31:57

Wow. It's some of it, I think, is work from home.

SPEAKER_02 32:01

Well, yeah, I guess it is.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

There's like a lot more leeway now for people to just up and leave their house and be like, oh, I'm gonna be gone for you know 15, 20 minutes or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 32:11

You know what's different now? Like, if I were in that scenario, dad would be like, No, I'm in my PJs. He'd be like, I'm not gonna get dressed for that.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

Right. Yeah. Remember your shit next time. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. It's I just think that that's also a really interesting thing that you just said, too, is like, I don't know how parents who work full-time outside the home are able to make stuff like that happen. And I do wonder if that is why some of this stuff is even more prevalent now, even than when you were in school.

SPEAKER_02 32:49

I wasn't really thinking about that.

SPEAKER_00 32:50

Yeah, me either. I also think, too, I have to wonder if like we just we live in this place of we don't want our kids to feel badly about anything. We don't want kids to feel shame. We don't want them to feel otherized or, you know, give them situations where they could potentially be made fun of. And while I understand that, nobody wants to see their kids like hurt, but at the same time, sometimes a little shame is a good thing. It's like, again, you're not talking like deep traumatizing shame. You're talking about, oh, you're the kid that forgot their equipment. And so now you can't play. And it's like, again, I think that level of connection connective tissue to kind of feeling a little bit embarrassed is a good thing because that's one of the things that makes you like remember the next day, like, I don't, I don't want that to happen again. Right. Um, and I think we're eliminating all of that. Like, we just don't want our kids to feel any level of embarrassment anymore. And so it's really, I think, fucking with kids' ability to learn basic coping skills. Right. Do you see a difference in how parents approach you versus a non-player coach? Or no? Do you just think it's just complaints or complaints?

SPEAKER_02 34:16

Um I don't know. It's hard to tell because I think the non-player coach is also in the community. And so I think it's also they've all been friends for a while too. So it's hard to tell is that because they've known each other for a long time and that's just like their friendly whatever, or is that because he's a non-player? I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_00 34:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:51

I know one of the parents of the players, two of the players, he coaches the youth still. When he talks to me, it's very different. And I don't know if that is different because I'm a female versus talking to a male, which is a whole other ball of wax.

SPEAKER_00 35:19

Which is funny because I should make a note of that. I wasn't even thinking about that. I do have questions to you about age, though.

SPEAKER_02 35:26

Because that was uh the next thing I was gonna get into.

SPEAKER_00 35:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 35:29

Because I do feel like also I feel like sometimes I'm talked down to because of my age. Because also I feel like sometimes people don't know that I'm older than I am. I feel like people think that I'm younger than I am. Yeah, you are a short queen and you look young for your age anyway. Which is so funny because I'm also covered in tattoos.

SPEAKER_00 35:49

True. Although you're also on long sleeves a lot because the spring season in Pennsylvania is very schizophrenic wet weather-wise. And so you are covered for most of the season because it is fucking cold.

SPEAKER_02 36:02

Yeah, that's true. But yeah, so I think sometimes being a female, I'm talked down to. Which is weird because you're talking about a female sport. Yes. But still, in a lot of ways, it's male dominated when you talk about coach and refs, like coaching and and the refs.

SPEAKER_00 36:24

Let's let's take a little sidebar into that. I mean, this isn't about parent complaints, but I think it is interesting. Is that are you seeing more male coaches and male refs than than female? The only reason I ask is because back in the day when you played, I felt like we saw a lot more female coaches and a lot more female refs of the girls' teams. But I don't know that I'm obviously haven't kept up with high school girls lacrosse since you played. So that's been like 10 years now. So yeah, is that are you seeing more of a shift?

SPEAKER_02 36:57

I think it's still a mix. I think it's still a lot of the refs that I had when I played are still roughing today.

SPEAKER_00 37:06

Really?

SPEAKER_02 37:07

They're ancient. And they can't run up and down the field. We call them Jerry because they're geriatric. Every time they come limping in, we're like, oh, Jerry's here. That's so awesome. We call them all Jerry, and the one, uh one of my assistant coaches, we call him OCP because he his face looks like an oatmeal cream pie. So we got Jerry and OCP that ref our games, but they are the same refs that refed me 15 years ago. Oh my god. But yeah, we have a lot of the same refs, male refs that I had. But I think it's a mixed bag with coaches. I think like us, like we have two male, two female coaches. I think you have a lot of that at a lot of the schools. Okay. I think you like a lot of the schools have a mix of male and female.

SPEAKER_00 38:09

And so when you say that you see a difference in how you are sometimes talked to when you're approached for like a parent, we don't even have to call them complaints, like just a parent approaching you about anything, whether it's an issue or you know, whatever, how do you feel like it's different? Like, and you can just use that one guy as an example if you want to, the guy that's still coaching youth in middle school, but what do you think is different between how he speaks to you versus how he would speak to one of the male coaches on the team?

SPEAKER_02 38:38

I just feel like they talk down to me. Like they know better. Cause it's always the dads that come to me. Okay. It's less so the moms. There are some moms that that talk to me, but usually they don't talk to me about like the the playing time or the plays or the scenarios on the field. That's the dads. The dads want to talk the in and outs of the lacrosse and what we're doing on the field and why we're choosing what we choose to do. The moms are usually usually just like, oh, they played so well. Yeah. You know, like they're the cheerleaders. And but yeah, the the dads want to talk about it, and they they usually want to talk about why we make the decisions that we make and how it's wrong. Okay. And and, you know, how we should be doing it differently, or you know, who who should be doing it, and you know, whatever. And so I'm just telling you what we're doing because that's what we did for, you know, for the game, for the scenario that we're in, whatever. And they're talking to me like they know all. And I'm like, sir, you also have not played the game. And I'm like, I don't think you could run down the field once either, yeah, without falling over. So like you're one to talk. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 40:01

I just feel like armchair mittying.

SPEAKER_02 40:04

Yeah. It's just such a different because also I could be standing right next to one of the guy coaches and watch like it's so different how they talk. And I could he could say the exact same thing that I just said, and it'll be like, wow, that was the best idea ever. What an idea.

SPEAKER_00 40:28

Yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 40:29

Life-changing.

SPEAKER_00 40:30

Yeah. Do you think that that has more to do with gender or age? Because dads tend to be a little bit like the dads of the girls are going to be closer in age to the male coaches that you guys, because there's a gap, right? Like the you guys have you said two female and two male coaches, and the two male coaches are older, and you and your other um assistant are both like under 30. Is that right?

SPEAKER_02 41:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:03

Yeah. So I guess that's like, is it genderized the like how you feel like you're being approached, or does do you think it has more to do with like age? They might be buddies with those guys, or or is it maybe just some weird combo and you don't know, but it's weird either way.

SPEAKER_02 41:20

I think it's a weird combo, and it's weird either way.

SPEAKER_00 41:22

Got it.

SPEAKER_02 41:23

I think too, what's weird about the setup is the two male coaches who are older both have not played, and the two female who like were the same age who both were played.

SPEAKER_00 41:34

So and and one of you guys played in college, right?

SPEAKER_02 41:37

Yeah, she played in college. So it's it's also weird to see like when you talk about somebody who hasn't played, like we do see a lot from the sidelines that players on the field do not see. But having the perspective of someone who has also played on the field, we don't see what they see on the field. Right. And I know what it's like on the field. Like you have such a different vision on the field that the male coaches will never understand because they've never played it. And they will never know what it's like.

SPEAKER_01 42:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:18

And so it's so hard even to the dads to explain that too. To to be like, we make these decisions.

SPEAKER_00 42:31

Yep, words. I'm leaving that in, by the way. I'm leaving that in.

SPEAKER_02 42:37

I just had a stroke. We make these decisions for a reason you know, for what's best for the team, because we understand what it's like from both perspectives. And you know, that's hard to explain from both perspectives. And I think that's what's also hard to determine whether that's going back to is it gender or is it age? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 43:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:09

That could be also like just because they're older, like they've also been around sports longer. And so they could say, Well, you're younger and you don't have as much experience around sports. So what? I've also played sports. I I played lacrosse for 13 years and I've coached for eight to ten. So and yeah, they've overlapped, but I have plenty of experience in this sport alone. Right.

SPEAKER_00 43:38

So don't tell me I don't know what I'm doing just because you're also it's definitely complex because I know look, this sport, especially in western Pennsylvania, and we'll just focus on lacrosse, but I think this goes for other sports too. The reason why I focus on lacrosse is because for a long time it wasn't big here. And it was really tough to find coaches. And it was really tough to get programs started at the high school level. And it took a lot of work and it took a lot of people standing on the shoulders of people who came before them. Not everybody played. And so you, and and I don't think you have to, right? I don't think you have to have played a sport to coach it. I think that there are people who understand the logistics, who understand field vision, all of those things, who never step foot on the lacrosse field. At the same time, there is a detriment to your point of you also have never been on the field and had the field vision on the field. And so I think it's why it's great to have multiple perspectives on a coaching staff. Because I think you always have somebody speaking for a different perspective. So again, just I'm saying all that to say, like, this is definitely not us sitting here saying, oh, if you've never played the sport, you shouldn't coach it. Because here's the other reality. You could have been the best player on the field and you might be a shitty coach. Like that is also unfortunately a reality. Not everybody's meant to teach people. And unfortunately, not everybody who teaches like had the physical capability necessarily to be on the field. So all that to say, it is complex. We're talking about this like from very specific lenses, of course. But yeah, I just wanted to make sure I said that because I mean, look, one of the coaches that you had in your life went on to start the program that you're coaching for now. She never played. Your dad didn't play. Dad didn't play.

SPEAKER_02 45:36

Actually, most of my coaches never played.

SPEAKER_00 45:38

Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 45:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:40

So, you know, but the sport also doesn't progress without people like that coming together and having the vision to say, we need this here. And, you know, I might not know everything, but I'm going to figure it out the best I can to make sure we've got something viable. Yeah. I was really interested in the age gap because I think a couple of things. And again, this is one of those situations where opposing things can be true because you can also see both sides of this, too, where the younger you are, the closer in age that you are to the people you're coaching can be both of massive benefit and it can be a massive detriment. And I do think that that is where sometimes like your experience gets called into question, but also you can relate to them on a level that a 40-year-old dude cannot relate to, you know, a 15-year-old girl. It's it's just different, right? And so I didn't really think about it in terms of gender as much as I did age. So can you think of, like you had that one guy? Have you ever had anybody question you based on experience level? Have you ever had that put in your face? Like because you're young, have they overtly said it?

SPEAKER_02 47:02

No.

SPEAKER_00 47:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 47:04

No, and I didn't even have that when I when I coached the middle school level either, because I started when I was the head coach at the middle school level, I was 18.

SPEAKER_00 47:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:13

And I mean, the head coach that I have now was my assistant coach when I was 18, and he never questioned that either.

SPEAKER_00 47:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 47:22

He was like, I came in and I was, I was yelling at them. I'm like, you hit the goalie, you're running laps. And he was like, you are a badass. Like 18 years old, I was like running that show. And he like not once was like, he was like, damn, you're scary. So like I I think I set that tone pretty early. Um, where even now I think I honestly I still think he's a little scared of me. Where I think it's much different because I've been around him now for almost 10 years. Yeah. Like, where he's he's a little more used to it, and um, you know, it's it's much different. But yeah, I don't I don't think anyone has ever questioned the experience level of at least the knowledge that I have for this part.

SPEAKER_00 48:18

That's good. That's good. I just wasn't sure if that parlayed into some of the parent stuff that we were talking about before, too, because it's not been my experience that that is usually why they're coming to complain about things. I think even back when you guys were in youth and middle school, the biggest complaints were around playing time. Um, and you know, parents also very much want to understand like why do we have to do fundraisers as if nobody has ever been part of an organization before and they don't realize that we live in a capitalist society and everything costs money. And so that that was always like sort of a secondary parent thing, but yeah, parent complaints around playing time were always like the the biggest things. And and in in the moment, in-game decisions, that's why for football in particular, uh, we instituted a 24-hour rule where parents were not allowed to approach a coach for 24 hours after a game. Because I don't know if you've been to a youth football game, but parents are fucking crazy. And as a coach is walking off the field, probably not the best time to come at them and start yelling at them about stuff. So I wanted to see if there was like sort of an evolution of where some of these complaints were coming from. And it sounds like no, it's the same stuff, it's just worse.

SPEAKER_02 49:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:42

So let's shift gears a little bit. I want to talk about because you do coach with a couple of guys who were dad coaches, right? And you were raised across all your sports by a dad coach as well. And I want to talk about what were some of the things that you learned from him that are that inform how you approach coaching today. What do you mean? So it's hard when your dad is your coach in some ways. It's also easier in some ways when your dad is your coach because he's the guy you live with. And so, like, you know his moods, you understand, like he's not, you know, he's he's yelling at like to you, not at you, you know, things like that. Like you read him better, right? But you also, I mean, he's been instrumental in all of your like sports upbringings till high school. Once high school hit, dad sat back and was like, I get to be a parent in the stands, and I'm so excited. But how did watching how he coached, watching how Connie coached, how do those things inform how you approach coaching? Like, are you, were you able to take things from them that you still implement today? Is there a mindset that you grew up with that you're like, yeah, that's the right mindset, and I don't want to deal with whatever these other mindsets are because this is what we need to be doing? Or are you like, yeah, I do it totally different, and here's why?

SPEAKER_02 51:19

Oh, I mean, yeah, I think I'm exactly the same as dad.

SPEAKER_00 51:23

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 51:25

Um I think I coach exactly the same way as dad and Connie.

SPEAKER_00 51:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 51:34

I I don't I I just think I'm logical in in everything. I don't I I don't really deal with a lot of the drama of it. Like, I mean my team is their family. Like I would do anything for them. I see them more than I see you guys really during the season.

SPEAKER_00 51:58

During the season, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:00

And they're like my little ducklings. And so like that's that is part of it, but I think it's like once you hit the field, it's there's like no BS. And so, and I think they they know that of I I would say of at least the female coaches, I think that's why that respect is there of us. They they push themselves, I think, and and they come to us when they know that they when they need that push.

SPEAKER_00 52:37

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 52:38

I think the nice thing though is like I think as a player you don't really like if you're a good player and a good leader, you really don't need a coach to lead you there. And I think that's what's nice about having had dad and Connie is like that made me into the player that I was and into the coach that I am, and so like having then coached these girls like into then who they are, it's almost like they don't really need us as coaches now because they can do it on their own. And it's like, yeah, sometimes they need like the guidance or the push, but you don't really have to say much to them. It's like they know what they need to do. And so it's like you kind of just give them their little pep talk before you build them up, you know, you just it's it's really just about having fun with them and and working the fundamentals, yeah. And that's and then they just go and do what they're supposed to do. Yeah. And it's and they're leaders and they just go do it. And like that's I think that's the important part of like the beginning of the season. It's like that's that's what you you build up to is like the fundamentals, you work that, you you train that throughout like pre-season into the beginning of the season, and then like you like push them off onto their own. Fly little bird, yeah. And so I think that's the nice part about like I said, having Connie and Dad coaching me into I mean, really into the coach that I am now, is like being able to then do that for for my players.

SPEAKER_00 54:37

It's funny, as you were talking through all of that, I had sort of a an interesting thought that had popped into my head, which was it sounds to me, and and I think this goes back to that disconnect with parents maybe doing too much for their kids, whether it's with coaches or teachers or whatever, is when I hear you talk about they know what they need to do. But when you hear parents sometimes asking a lot of questions around why aren't they doing this, why aren't they able to do that, I don't understand this, I don't understand that. And it's and and this kind of takes me back to that communication question. It's like, are the players even really fully communicating to their parents? Because the way that you're describing it sounds to me like you have almost more expectation of them than their parents may have of them. You expect more out of them because you're equipping them to go and do what they need to do to play their game and get shit done. And it very much sounds to me like every time I hear about again, whether it's in your situation or it's anybody else, like, hell, Uncle Nick's in a situation now or his kids are just starting, like in the youth sports, and you can already see like where the good parents are and where the complainers are, and like that's already starting for him too. So he's talking about it a lot too. And even at young ages, I think it's important for you to expect something out of kids. And I think our this is where collectively as parents, I feel like we've been failing kids, at least within the last, you know, most recent generation.

SPEAKER_02 56:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:26

Where I just don't think we're we don't expect anything out of them. We just want to handle everything for them because we feel like they can't handle anything on their own.

SPEAKER_02 56:35

Yeah. It's why like I created the the Hell Week plans this year.

SPEAKER_00 56:41

Talk a little bit about Hell Week.

SPEAKER_02 56:43

Um, so Hell Week is the first week of practice. It's five straight days of practice, and it's two hours, and it is hell. It's it's fundamentals, it's it's a whole lot of running. It's you know, when you think football two a days where you know you run until you throw up, that's kind of what it is. You you know, you start with sprints and then you go into more sprints and then fundamentals with sprinting and more fundamentals, and then you run a mile and then more running and then more fundamentals and more, like it's just it's miserable. And it's this, it's the same thing over and over again, five days a week.

SPEAKER_00 57:37

Yep. But also, I think for people who might be listening who don't really know much about lacrosse, please explain why the running is so important and why multiple types of running. It's like it's why you're talking about sprints and you're also talking about doing the mile. Like, because I know you had mentioned something before about making the girls run, and it sounded like a punishment, because it kind of is, but it's also not because they need it. So can you explain why that's so fundamentally, foundationally important?

SPEAKER_02 58:07

Well, lacrosse is a running sport, and girls lacrosse specifically is more of a finesse sport that has much more running, and it's a lot of start, it's like start-stop kind of running, and so you need lots of endurance, and so sprinting is important, but also long distance is important, so because of the endurance, yeah, for the endurance. So both kinds of running is important, being able to pivot and you know, start, stop, all kinds of things is important. And so you put together the Hellweight plan this year, yes. So which we've never done before, I think, because like I said, I am not the head coach. I think we have been way too easy on the girls. And I think last year we were way too out of shape, and and it hurt us. We did not go as far as we wanted to in playoffs, and we lost, and I was like, I'm I'm over that. Um I'm doing that again. Yeah, and I think too, I mean, lacrosse there are some girls, like I said, if they're serious about the sport and they want to continue on in college, there are girls that play year-round. They play um through travel leagues. And then we offer stuff also in the fall and in the winter through the it's not through the school, but it's like through the boosters that through the school offer different things for the girls to come do. But it's not mandatory. And so there are girls that don't show up until season. Yeah, and so they don't pick up their sticks, they do not run, and so they're out of shape. And so some of these girls are starting fresh running or getting back into the fundamentals in Hell Week. Yeah, and so you have a vast difference in some of the girls, and so some girls make it through Hell Week just fine, and some girls struggle. But yeah, so this was the first week that we really truly did um Hell Week. And I mean, they made it through, and some of the girls really liked it. I mean, they hated it while they did it, but they really liked it after the fact.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:56

Bit of a difference maker. Yeah. Again, expecting more from them than probably they even expect out of themselves. For sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:04

But I I designed it to where the coaches were not coaching, it was set up so that they ran the practice. It was built out, it was the same thing five days a week. So, and it was given to them like three weeks in advance, and basically they just had to memorize the order of it. And they went out and they did it. It was the same thing every single day, and nothing changed. And so they went out and they did it themselves, and they were basically graded on it. And it was it was a way, in a way, it was kind of like to scare them. Because some of it was like, are you prepared? Like, do you show up on time? Is all your stuff out of the locker room? Did you give a hundred percent effort at practice? Um, do you have a good attitude? How did you handle like practice every day, basically? Like the load of practice, because it's the same thing every day. We're not adding anything, but you know, some days are better than others. And you know, some drills go well and some don't. And, you know, I would hope that progressively over the week you get better on things that maybe you didn't do so well. And so we give a grade at the end of the week. I mean, we also are running a mile, so also throughout the week, we're hoping that your time gets better every day. But it it really worked. And again, because we have such high expectations for them, and I think they killed it.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:45

Yeah. Like Do you feel like it made a difference so far this year? Like do you feel like it was different than last year?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:51

Yeah, honestly, last year we came out of the gate. I mean, five or six girls were hurt because they like they weren't stretching properly. They were overdoing it because they were out of shape from not doing stuff properly. Yeah, so yeah, I mean, frankly, everyone's doing pretty well. I mean, besides we've had a couple separate injuries, right? But yeah, I mean, I think they're killing it, and you know, we have a solid lineup for both teams, and I mean that hasn't really changed very much, which is nice. Yeah, like, but no, I think it's gone really well.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:33

That's awesome. So, a couple of other things then before we wrap, and one of them is you know, when you think out longer term, is coaching something that you think you see yourself continuing to do? Do you do you enjoy coaching?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:53

I'm not sure. TBD.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:56

Really?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:57

Okay, I don't know. I mean TBD. Well, this last week has has been kind of um tough and emotional about it because of the shenanigans.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:11

I think the shenanigans that shall remain unspoken. Correct. We're not gonna talk about the shenanigans, correct?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:18

Okay, but I think too being in said shenanigans, having to go through it, like being at the game on Friday, I was kind of like, maybe I'm not built for this. Really? Yeah. And so I was like, maybe this isn't what I want to do. Like I love it, and I love the girls, and like I And you love the sport. And I love the sport, and like I wanna like I would do anything for them, and like I want them to love it, and I don't know, like I'm that's I'm very passionate about that.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:56

But I was just surprised to hear that. I mean, I get it. Coaching is so much more than just teaching kids a sport, right? There's so much more that goes into it, and there is so much more responsibility. And I'm tired. I know you are. Well, and and again, that was sort of like the one of the before we wrap questions that I had in this little section. That was one of them, too, because for the teabags who heard Kenzie's first episode, you know, she she shared all the things around her fibromyalgia diagnosis and pain psychology and things that she had been going through. And, you know, there is a lot of stress that goes along with coaching that impacts your ability to allow your body time to rest and heal and whatever. And so that was sort of my next question is I know you're tired. I know you're tired a lot. Does that impact whether or not you continue to coach, or is it something that you gear yourself up for in advance of the season? And you know you're gonna be tired, and then you're like, Come June, I will relax. Like, how how does that work for you when you think? About that.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:01

I don't know. I mean, I think it's been tougher the last couple weeks too, just having stuff to do on the weekends, too.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:07

Like not being able to relax on the weekends either. Like I'm I don't I'm not having the recharge time either. Yep. And so like I were really fun things though. Totally. But like it it just it is a lot, yeah, still. And like I'm noticing even coming back to lacrosse, like I'm sitting down a lot more, like even at lacrosse.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:32

Cause I'm like, I just I'm just so tired. Yeah. Like we had a game the other day, and I said, I said to to Bria, I was like, I feel really strongly that I need to sit down right now.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:42

You know what you need? You need one of those um those little packable like stool things that that our our massage therapist, Megan, the massage therapist, that's what we call her. She that she brings with her because you just pop that bitch out and slap it open and stick it right on your butt and you're like you're good wherever you are.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:00

Actually, um, the photographer guy that comes to our games to take pictures, he has one too. So that's okay. I should just carry it with me.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:08

You totally should.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:09

But yeah, so I just I'm just resting um a lot more, I would say, on the go these days. But even in practices, like we're in the middle of a draw, I'm just sitting down. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:20

So but at least shout out the fun things that ate up your weekends, like because they don't fit in your three good things because they predate seven days. So shout out. We had two weekends in a row of really awesome shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:32

We did go to New York. We saw The Unknown with Sean Hayes and Death of a Salesman with Nathan Lane, which was fantastic. I kind of went in with I didn't know what either of them were about, honestly. We were just like, Oh, Sean Hayes, of course we're gonna go.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:48

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:49

And then Death of a Salesman, you kind of said like it's an old play, and you were like, Oh, well, we'll just feel the vibes, like maybe it'll be so boring and we'll leave. Because it's a three-hour long play.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:01

And I also want to be very clear to the teabags who are listening who are like, oh my god, Karen, you did not just say it could be boring. Yes, I did, also because I know my kid, and we love musicals. Yes, we love musicals. I'm not really huge on plays. Yes, so please don't come at me. Yes, Death of a Salesman is amazing.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:20

Got it. Frankly, like, I mean, we were there for Nathan Lane, but every single person so fucking amazing. And what's his nuts that played The Sun? Yeah. Blew me out of the water. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It was fantastic. We stayed the whole time, which I mean we were going back to Philly that night, so I mean, we didn't get back until like two in the morning. Yep. So talk about tired, but fantastic. Yep. The next weekend, I mean, well, technically like midweek, we went to Vegas to see Bruno Mars. Fantastic. I mean, that little guy can dance. Um, he can also play the bongos. He can. He can. Also sat down that whole time. You did. One thing about me, I was uh taking a rest.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:06

Yeah, you were. Um and that's not typical for you. You are like a I'm gonna get up and dance to some of these songs kind of a girl, and you sat literally the whole time.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:16

Yeah. I uh it was a lot. Yeah. Um, well, and it was two weekends in a row, and you know, I had games that week. It was it was a lot, and you know, flights and we walked a lot because you know because you do. You just gotta get from A to B. And we didn't know how to read maps. And and by we, I mean not me. We got tattoos there. We did. Which were very expensive. I don't want to talk about it. I will be getting all my tattoos in PA from now on. Okay, but we had to do it. Well, yeah, like one in Vegas, but I'm just saying Okay, I'm gonna go to my guy Eric. That's all I'm saying. That's fair.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:56

Shout out, shout out to Eric.

unknown 1:09:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:58

Yeah, so two, you know, two very, very big weekends, very fun weekends, but and then we had my niece and nephew here for the week.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:09

And they are three and four, and like just enough said, right? Like it's it's a lot, it's non-stop with them. They're curious and they're active and they want your undivided attention, and it's adorable and it is exhausting. It's it's all of the things. I mean, to be fair, I wasn't really here very much. Yeah, at least when you walked in the door, you got the auntie.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:31

I missed it. I missed you.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:33

I know. So so lovely.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:35

Yeah. I mean, to be fair, I he sleeps in my bed, and so the first three nights I did not get any sleep until I then moved out of my bed. Yes. To then get some sleep. Yes, that is true. Um, and then you took one for the team. Yeah. So yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:54

He has some sleep issues, whereas Addie sleeps like the dead and is so very different. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:00

Yeah. Yeah. So we had some fun, fun weekends, but no rest. No rest.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:07

So cool.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:08

Yep. Well, I appreciate you sharing. I feel like we covered some of the stuff that we said we were going to cover, but definitely veered into lacrosse more than I had anticipated, but I think that's okay. I think it is really cool. It's all good. Like, I'm I'm happy to talk about all of those things because it is what you're doing right now. It's it's kind of what you're going through, you know, whether it's parent complaints or dealing with how you're handling your pain, you know, issues and, you know, all of that stuff. It is a massive commitment and it is something that you've been really interested in in doing for a while. And so it's still fun to talk about for me. So all right. Three good things about your week. You know the drill. I know when you first asked me if you were gonna have to do it, and I said yes, what did you say?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:56

I said there was no good things about this week.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:59

Actually, you started with oh fuck. And then there were no good things about this week.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:04

I always panic because this is the worst. I had a really rough week, and by rough week I mean a rough Friday. But then I came up with four.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:18

See?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:19

That's what I'm saying. Sometimes you just have to noodle about it for a minute. I had to open my calendar and see what happened in the rolling week. All right, what'd you got? Well, today we saw Shuct. It was the Broadway tour, and it was frickin' hilarious. Yes. You thought it got a little too country, but you know how I feel about country music. I know.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:41

But it was like Broadway country, so it wasn't like Yeah. You got through it. I did. It was hilarious too. Like I loved it, don't get me wrong. But there were a couple of songs where I was like, oh, please end soon. Yes. Continue.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:56

Um, last Tuesday, so still in the rolling week, I got to meet my coworker's baby at lunch. And they got to hold her.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:07

That's so sweet.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:08

Yeah. Last week as well, in the rolling week, I two of my players hit big milestones in their lacrosse careers. One player hit 200 career points.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:22

Awesome.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:23

And one hit 100 goals on Friday.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:27

Very cool.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:28

And then also on Thursday, I made a delicious guacamole. You did. It's pretty fire. And the avocados were perfect. They were so creamy. I didn't even really mash them. That was straight just mixing in the stuff, and that got creamy.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:45

Yeah. It was really, really delicious guac, like perfecto. That was the best. Like coming out of the office after, you know, everybody had already cooked dinner and I had did not partake. And I was like, oh my god, look at that guac, and proceeded to then just eat chips and guak. It was really awesome. Well, thank you for sharing.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:06

True.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:07

I appreciate your four good things about this week. Are you gonna close out Kenzie? You didn't even say welcome to Kenzie's Corner at the beginning. I didn't, but I did say hi, teabags. You did, I know. All right. Well, say goodbye from Kenzie's Corner.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:20

Goodbye from Kenzie's Corner. See you later, teabags.