Guest: Blaze LaBoon

Teabags, it’s time to post up with the guest who quite possibly has the coolest name on the planet!

Blaze LaBoon pulls up a chair at my kitchen table today to talk about how sports has been so foundational in her life.  She also chats about the origin of her name, wtf it means to be a stoop kid, her jobs with the Pittsburgh Pirates and Penguins, and her hopes to one day transition to playing pickleball as she gets older.

Get cozy!

This week's small business spotlight is on Tiger Moth Mercantile.

Find Tiger Moth on Instagram: @tigermothmercantile

Order from Tiger Moth at www.tigermothmercantile.com

Intro riff by Dale Lytle (concert husband).

All content edited (I use that term very loosely) by Karen Shaak.

Transcript

0:00

This week's At My Kitchen Table Small Business Spotlight shines on Tiger Moth Mercantile. Tiger Moth Mercantile partners with over 30 local vendors to offer one-of-a-kind and specialty gifts that are perfect for celebrating everyday moments. From housewarming to holidays to just because Tiger Moth has curated the creative, the delicious, and the whimsical to delight your sensibilities. I highly recommend that my local listeners stop into their Carnegie, Pennsylvania store. The shop is an absolute wonder that flows from table to shelf and from room to room that simply encourages you to explore. Check out their upcoming events on socials at Tiger Moth Mercantile or visit their website at www.tigermothmercantile.com to place an order. Find magic at the Moth. Teabags, it's time to post up with a guest who quite possibly has the coolest name on the planet. Blaze Laboon pulls up a chair at my kitchen table today to talk about how sports has been so foundational in her life. She also chats about the origin of her name, what the fuck it means to be a stoop kid, her jobs with the Pittsburgh Pirates and Penguins, how she processed grief, and her hopes to one day transition to playing pickleball as she gets older. Get cozy. You had mentioned that you like you work part-time at Top Golf, like too. Are you still you're still doing that? Yes. Um sometimes I feel like they would probably beg to differ because they might uh be trying to get rid of me. I started it through COVID actually. Did you part-time? Okay. And still they've allowed me to kind of still work weekends or part-time, and then really worked with my pirate schedule. So I was able to kind of work both, and I'm sure they're trying to get rid of me because they're like, you don't even work enough. But that doesn't even make sense because they like always need hours. Right, they do. So that's where it's I think I help them when they need it. Yeah. It helps me because it's outdoors, it's fun, and it is a very good for extra cash. And there's a lot of workers, so I feel like you can also you have room for having the flexibility of like I can't work all the time. Right. So that's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah, I so my cousin actually works there, and I think his girlfriend does too. Really? Like, yeah, yeah. So you have to offline the line. Because I I might I've been there now, I guess if it's 2026, I've been there now six years, almost coming up. So I am not a regular, so I know as new people come, I don't normally meet them for a few months. But if they've been there for a while, I most likely know them and work with them. So yeah, we'll have to do that. We've definitely been there for a while. So yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's dive in and get started. I appreciate you being here. I appreciate you coming all the way out. And I would love for the teabags. Um, just give a little bit of an intro about yourself, whatever you're comfortable sharing. Oh, yes. Well, my name is Blaise Leboon, and I do love tea. So that that roped me right in. Nice to be teabagged. Am I allowed to say that? Is that teabaged? Totally can. No, we love inappropriate here. So no. Okay, good. Got teabags. Yeah, I'm just I am a local Pittsburgh girl that got invited through family and mutual friends that we have, and they are such good people and introduced me to you. So I'm excited to spill the tea. Awesome, awesome. And I'm very excited that you're here to spill the tea. So Blaze is joining me today, and we're gonna talk about a whole bunch of different things, but a lot of stuff around sports, um, because you're like also a big sports girly as well, and we'll probably talk a little bit about like we have some things in common um from like losing our moms. So we'll chat about that. But I think before we dive into any of that, yeah, I well, there are a couple of things that we have to talk about. One is you do have like basically the coolest name on the planet. Thank you. Thank you. Shout out to my parents. Yep, there you go. Um, can you talk a little bit about how you got the name Blaze? Because I literally asked you, I was like, is that your real name or is that like a fake name? Yeah, yeah. No, I get that a lot, which um it is my real name, true name. I believe I was the first Blaze Leboon in the world since I've researched, but um That's so funny. Yeah, I my brother actually recently named his son Blaze Leboon as well. So now I have two, which is very cool. So now it's a family namesake. But it yes, it is my name, and how I got it was I was supposed to be born on Saint Blaze Day, which if you follow the Catholic religion, is a Saint Blaze. I do spell it differently. And my mom grew up going to a Catholic school and she heard the name, and then as soon as I had my what was supposed to be the day I was born, she wanted to name me Blaise, and then I think heard it while she was pregnant again. So that's how I got the name. That's so funny. I love it. I love it. But thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I do think it's real when I was younger, I was a little apprehensive because people thought I was a boy a lot, which meanwhile I was a big tomboy. I don't know why that was like so devastating, but anytime people are like, where's Blaze? It's supposed to be a guy. So at first I feel like I was like, uh, but now I love it. Now I own it. So love that. And the second thing I have to ask you is you're the second person that I've talked to who has referred to the term being a stoop kid. And I have to ask because I don't think we ever caught it on any of the recordings, but I'm pretty sure it might have come from Robbie. And so would love for you to explain what does that mean? What is a stoop kid? Yeah, I believe I first heard it. If it wasn't Robin, it probably was, but it might have been also on Hey Arnold. I don't know if you've watched it, you know, growing up in the 90s, that was one of my favorite cartoons. And a stoop kid never leaves a stoop. So I believe if I can remember correctly, he wouldn't leave either his house or his steps. Yeah, which I always laugh and refer to people, even though I'm a city girl, that when they don't want to leave their neighborhood or if something's too far because it's crossing a bridge, that they're a stoop kid. Yeah. And we've gotten Robbie used to be a stoop kid, but now he he got out here and he's getting out and about. That is that's why we say stupid. And it just makes me laugh every time, even though I can be a stoop kid because I moved back to my hometown, but I just loved it because it was a fun thing. I think, particularly in this area, just western Pennsylvania. I know a lot of people who are like, oh no, I can't, I'm not driving out to Monroe, like that's too far. And as a person who, I mean, I didn't grow up here, like I had family here, right, but grew up in other areas of the state. I'm so used to long road tripping to get to anywhere that I want to go that it baffles me when I would. So this is not even a joke. My aunt moved from this area to Glendale, so like the Carnegie area. Okay, right. Literally, some of her friends were like, Well, we're never gonna see you anymore. As if it was gonna be so problematic to drive the 10 or 15 minutes to a different town to like go see them. And so I would I just never had a name for it. So I I think Stoop Kit is hilarious. Yeah, you'll have to adapt it now. Yeah, or adapt to you. I don't know if it works in the burbs, but it's the same mentality. I I I believe it does because even you telling that story about about your aunt, I feel like the older generation andor new generation, or if people at least younger than me, I find a lot of people still saying that they're never gonna see a person because they're living either in the north or the south, or if if they move. So I feel like, like you said, western Pennsylvania or even just a lot of PA that isn't more than a 20-minute drive. Yeah. They don't want to leave their area. Nope. And I thought it was just Pittsburgh until you know I branched out and I realized there's even people, you know, I don't want to say as far as here because this is not before, but you said it. But that is like that is sort of the mentality, right? Like I want to be super clear for the teabags who are listening. Blaze lives in the city of Pittsburgh. I'm like seven miles outside of the city of Pittsburgh. Like we're not, we don't live far away from each other, but that is truly the mentality of Pittsburghers. Yeah, really. The ones that don't want to cross a bridge, like they stay on their own side of a bridge and like don't want to. Yeah, it is hilarious. And in Pittsburgh, you almost can't get anywhere without going over a bridge. There are a couple hundred of them in the area. It's I think they're, you know, just not used to change, or I don't, I mean, there could be many different and I can get like that sometimes. I'm like, oh, but once you push yourself out of your comfort zone, I'm like, wait, that actually wasn't that bad, and you get to experience everything else. Totally. I love the stoop. I do without all the stoop kids, but I also love exploring. So do both. Love that. Cool. So let's dive into just a little bit of like background about you. Like, what kind of kid were you? Because we're gonna talk about sports and your love of sports. Has that been your whole life? Like, and where did that come from? Yeah, so as a kid, I was actually pretty shy, even though you're probably like what? Because I haven't stopped talking since I've been here. I was a very shy, very shy kid, but active. So I loved being outside and loved sports, and I did grow up with sports. So, from as long as I can remember, my my grandfather, my grandmother, my mother, aunts, uncles, all very involved, father, all very involved in sports. And I don't want to say that I was good naturally, but it just kind of also came natural to me. And I believe, especially me and my brother are 10 months apart, which is very, very close. My mom said it was like having twins sometimes, yeah. And he has way more energy than I. That I believe she kind of pushed us into sports too to maybe get us, you know, from not being so annoying or all hyper. And so yeah, I I probably started T, I think she signed us up for T Bowl. I want to say five or six. Yeah. But yeah, it it was, it's it was in my family coaching, playing of some capacity, and then being from the city of Pittsburgh, I feel like we are all sports fans, or or it's okay if you're not, but I just grew up with heavy Steeler fans, pirate fans, penguins fans. So yeah, even if I wasn't playing in sports, sports were surrounded somehow. Of course, of course. Very much a backdrop of a lot of people's lives in the city for sure. And I did see the car in the driveway. Oh yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to get that personal. No, the car. I was like, okay, we're good. Yeah, no, I think we went through a period where my mom, uh, when she was still alive, bought everybody like the headrest covers, and we used to have like the dice hanging in the yeah. Oh my gosh. Oh man, yeah, that's uh that is my family. My family has a steeler bathroom. I feel like a lot of people say that right, but they do. And yeah, my mom was, I mean, wearing all year round stealer stuff. Yeah. Now, did you primarily play or only I shouldn't say primarily, have you only played softball or do you play other sports from the time you were a kid too? So I primarily played softball, but around middle school, I started to play soccer and basketball. Okay. So my family was really into baseball and basketball. So I feel naturally once I started playing softball, they were excited, andor to kind of play year-round. Um, all my friends were playing basketball and soccer. So I I naturally kind of got involved in those. And my family was really good at basketball, and I did not end up being so I kind of really drove into softball. But I I really I loved playing all sports. I just was naturally better at softball and grew up watching it, so it kind of just felt more natural to to play. Yeah. Hopefully, I can um now transition into pickleball or something. Yeah, softball was the as we age. That's fantastic. Do you feel like your friendships when you were a kid? And like, you know, I think of community, but we probably didn't think about that when we were kids, but that was very much like what school was and the the groups that we were involved in. Do you feel like sports sort of informed the community for you? Or did you like did you make friends outside of that pretty easily as well? Was that just like a like a secondary thing for you? Yeah, so sports I think was the reason I made friends, especially being very shy. I I wasn't shy at home. My mom reminded me, and even in preschool, I I went another year because they were like, She's too shy, she's not gonna develop. And I know that my mom probably regretted it because then I didn't shut up after um having another year. But I be careful what you wish for. Exactly. I do believe it was the reason I I had friends at first because I was I was just so shy that I liked watching and I wanted to participate, I just didn't know how. So sports just really got me out to to be able to kind of talk and and and get that sense of community and friends, especially I grew up with me and my brother, and we were great friends, but then being sister and brother, we also fought. So it was also another another way to get other friends and you know, somebody that would actually listen to me and you know, I could boss around a little more. But I growing up, I actually lived at the bottom of my hill was uh one of the fields I played at. So we would all go down to there was uh two baseball, softball fields and a park. So naturally, like all the people that lived in the neighborhood, and and I lived in Mount Washington, so you know, before a lot of TV and video games, we were outside playing and we just would play any sport and then just kind of from there just started to play sports. So I do think it it was a a very easy way for me to get out of my shell and or get a lot of friends, and then from there I was able to make more friends, and then you know, going into transitioning into to middle school, which was the scariest time of my life that I would never repeat, but I feel like then I was easier, I I felt a little more at ease to then talk to my friends' friends, or I might have known somebody who knew someone from softball, and then I could easily make friends that way. Yeah. So what were the things that scared you about going into middle school? Oh because we talk about this a lot, like not just middle school, but there I think there are other key times when kids feel like fear. Right. High school, of course, is also another one, I think, sometimes for people. But what was it about middle school in particular for you? Middle school, and I don't even know if I knew it as much as to why, but I feel like maybe that's about the age that unfortunately insecurities start to set in, maybe too, or maybe you know, as you are younger, you kind of either probably in my case didn't pay as much attention because I was busy playing or distracting. And then once you start to get into the the age of middle school, you start to realize like, oh, you think that people don't have the same life as you, or you know, that people are further along, or I don't know, it maybe it was just the intimidating factor, and or maybe friends, maybe you know, in in grade school it was easier because we all switched classes and and maybe I didn't have a click, or I had a softball click, but I didn't have friend clicks, but yeah, I think it was all of those, and maybe yeah, just being insecure, or I just started to realize at the age that people could be really mean. Mean. Yeah, and I feel like in in middle school, I mean I think we hopefully we all haven't had a version of bully, but you saw a lot more bullies and things, and kind of had that happen to me, and I was like, it was just yeah, it was just not my favorite stage of school. Yeah. It is interesting, and it's not something that I talk a lot necessarily on the podcast about, but so my kids were all very into sports as well, and and we were very much involved, like running some of the sports organizations at the youth and middle school level. I also had a friend who started the high school and the middle school programs, like at Charter's Valley for La Crosse. Oh wow. And then she went on to coach at South Fayette, and it's sort of like this thing that you notice, particularly with girls sports, where there's this drop-off, right? Not across every single sport, but it was really tough to get girls to sign up for particularly new programs. And we always wondered. I mean, we all have our opinions on why that is, but I think a lot of it is what you just said. It's like there's pressure, there is you've got bullying for sure. I think, you know, depending on what some girls are just a lot more into what other people think of them. So I'm sure that there are a ton of factors, but man, middle school is fraught. Oh man, it is a you know, actually now that you're saying that, I think that might have been, I didn't even realize that subconsciously, but I do remember our softball team struggled at that age to get people to play. And actually, I did sit out my sixth grade year. I watched everybody else play, and I was just I thought I was just too shy, and I just remember being too scared. And I played with all these people in rec ball, so I continued to play, but I did I I didn't try out, if you will, but I think we all made the team. I I didn't want to play because I was I think so fearful and I started to realize, you know, some people were mean or maybe even better than me, and I was scared. So that that that wow, that's so interesting you say that because I I do see that a lot even now I have coached before and I coached 12-year-olds and 10-year-olds, and I do remember it sometimes you'd have people that wanted to play, and then other times you had it was like it was really hard, and I did I think experience exactly what you said too. Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy. I know, no, that's all right. What were some of the things that you liked about playing organized sports? And the reason I asked this is because we did some similar things that your mom did, where it's like, well, these kids need some sort of area of discipline or focus. Like we very much believed in free play. My kids were always outside playing too, but there was that level of okay, but team teamwork and team building, I think, is super important. And so fortunately, all three of my kids were way into sports and and pretty athletic and they they played, you know, all throughout. But what's interesting is I know other people who were like, oh, my kid is in it for the social aspect, like they're they're not there because they're the greatest at this or they aspire to be, you know, whatever. And it wasn't until that that I realized, oh, not everybody does this for the same reasons either. It's not just because they have aptitude. So just curious, like, what what were some of the things about organized sports that you liked? Yeah, so I I mean, I feel like everything you described kind of hit it on the nail for me, too. But I sorry, because I didn't mean to like give you words. No, I just meant like I'm just it was an aha moment. I was like, wow, I feel like you're speaking to me with a mirror. So no, it was great. I growing up, I was the oldest of my mom's children, and having a brother, you know, 10 months younger was like a little little shadow, but I also kind of we were alike, but we were so different. And I kind of always was off in my own world because we had way different interests. So I being a part of a team was very important for me because I I playing with my brother, he didn't always like to do what I like to do. And then now I found these people who actually like to play in the dirt, and I loved play in the dirt, and he was more of or and still is a video game in electronics, and I I wanted nothing to do with those. So I what really attracted me to organize sports was just the the the teamwork and the in the sense of community. I got to hang out and I wanted to be more social and it allowed me to because especially you know with with a lot of sports and and softball in general, I had I could be serious on the field and I was focused. But then when I was in the bench and I wasn't hitting, I could be goof, goofing off and kind of catching up and and um with softball, I loved that it wasn't super individualized because I I believe from being a shy child, I didn't always want all the attention. However, I probably did want a little if I got a good hit and things like that. So it it it I loved that the focus wasn't always me too. Now I wanted to be a contributing factor for sure. And I still love to, but I I really loved the that teamwork or sense like I could help them do it or together we could do that, and and then throughout growing up playing and and as I age experiencing the little loss, which was a game or two, and then that helped me later in life. But I I think kind of going through the I'm not perfect, and whereas having a single mom sometimes, or just in general, I feel like as women, we try to always be perfect, and we always are being compared to. I feel like through sports, losing was helping me learn the emotions of like, oh, then I can try keep trying. Yeah, and or maybe I could do something different to kind of just. Produce different results. So I I I believe those are probably what attracted me most is the teamwork and then you know experiencing the loss in the lows and the highs. I don't know. I think I was just really enjoyed, you know, one day you could be a winner, one day you could be a loser, but then you can try again. Yeah. I think the other interesting thing too that I at least I'm hearing, and and correct me if this isn't right, but you learn so much out of loss. Like you learn way more from losing than you actually do from winning. Right. And we don't realize that when we're young and playing sports, but you are learning those lessons along the way and hopefully learning how to be, you know, a good winner and you know a graceful loser, but also making sure that you're working hard to like, because you don't want it to happen again. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah, no, I I agree. And especially, I mean, that took a long time to get there. And I know with you, it did too, but I I feel like that's probably what we knew we were experiencing is oh man, this, you know, I I don't love the way this feels, but I I learned and I I taught. And then as I aged, and I'm sure you know you always also experienced it, not only in your life, but even coaching, is you kind you get to learn your players and you get to learn about yourself from coaching. And and I I think that was just so much fun for me to just continue to learn because I love the game and losing allowed me to learn more than winning, even though I liked winning a little more than losing. But of course sometimes I do like losing, you know. I always I always loved losing, or I when I when I did win or lose, I love to be, I didn't love to win by a lot, and I didn't love to lose by a lot, of course. I I I love those closed games because I can learn both. Yeah, exactly. So that would that that really helped me, you know, in life and still does. Yeah, for sure, for sure. I'm on the interesting end of things at this point because I did play sports when I was a kid, and then like my kids did, and I think you have this perspective on what sports are or what they should be or what they should mean. And I think as I got older, at least for me, I I sometimes now look, I've I have two grandkids and they're four and three. I know, super fun. And there are times where I look at my son and I'm like, um, don't you put these babies in sports, like let him play an instrument, like let's just stay away from all of the nonsense. But I do think that my perspective on sports and what it should mean at young ages has completely changed, even from when my kids were younger. Like, I think that there were probably lessons that parents need to really learn about sports. Right. Um, and I'm sure you see that as well. Right. I yeah, I've I've experienced that myself. And I mean I I got very lucky to continue to love the game in the coaches I and in the parents I had, and I was able to experience not all great, but enough, good enough, I guess, that I wanted to continue continue to play. But I I had a lot of friends and saw a lot of coaches and or parents that needed to learn the lesson, or even children that needed to learn that took the game out for them, and it it was so unfortunate and still breaks my heart sometimes. But I I could see exactly what you're saying is that you know the the game is completely different from what it was when we were kids and and when you coached and now with your you know your grandchildren. Um, so I I totally could I could see that yeah 100%. Yeah. So shifting gears just a little bit, what kind of a student were you? Yeah, so school I I really enjoyed my gym class within that's the greatest answer ever. I love it. I would say that in arts, um, because my family had a very artistic side as well. So school was fun. I liked going. Okay. And I liked learning because I I still love to learn. So I I think I was a decent decent, but I I I probably talked a lot once I started to get comfortable. So I I kind of remember that. But school, school was fun, but I always just wanted to get to the extra activities. Yep. Totally get that. So I asked that because I know you had you had gotten a scholarship to play in college, but then that didn't actually end up coming to fruition. Can you share a little bit about what happened there? Yeah, absolutely. And I apologize because I probably was rambling. I so I didn't get a scholarship. You didn't, okay. But I went to I chose Cal Yu, so I had a couple coaches that were talking to me. Okay. And I I didn't get actually any offers. Gotcha. Okay. And but I I was but between back and forth, and I believe I want to say, and this isn't the reason why, but my mom started to kind of experience some health problems like in high school. And so I was talking to some coaches, but then I also wasn't sure what I wanted to do. Like I wanted to go to college, but then I was like, I don't know what I want to do. So I feel like I had a lot of doubts. I didn't know if I was good enough to play, but I had some coaches that wanted to talk to me, but some of my friends were getting scholarships, and I wasn't uh walking away with deals. So I didn't really always even pursue some of the conversations I had. And then I selected Cow Yu when I was talking to a coach. Okay. And she had talked to me a bit and I broke my foot my senior year. So we had talked. That's the worst. Then I broke my foot, and she she had told me, okay, well, because I was gonna maybe go for some summer tryouts, and or I she wasn't offering me a spot, but she did want to see a little more. Broke my foot, being stupid, too. It wasn't even like some great, I just like jumped into too shallow of water. So no. I that happened. Isn't that always the way too? It's like never something, it's never like the ESPN highlight wheel. Right. No, I wouldn't. It's like some dumb move that we make. It was, and it was so silly. Once I got out of a cast, I started reaching back out to the coaches to to learn that the coach got fired. Okay. And the other coach, you know, had saw my name through her emails and said, why don't you just try on you try out as a walk-on? And this is probably also in my mind at the time, half of me, I think, with the doubts, and because I broke my foot and and I was a shortstop, and my favorite skill that I thought I could bring to the table, that I thought I had was my range in in footwork, really. It's like I was a ground ball lover. Like I loved to field. My bat wasn't as strong, and and I believe that's probably why there weren't a lot of offers there. But yeah, I I love to field, and really after I broke my foot, I didn't have any therapy. My doctor was just like, walk and you'll be fine. I really didn't think I had the ability to even try to walk out. So when the coaches reached back out to me to um try out as a walk-on, I I really kind of wasn't thinking that I was good enough to even do that. And I think I was just scared to be told no, which I think now. So for a while I did. Okay. And a little part of me, yes, just to take myself out before somebody said no. Yeah, like you and you deselect it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I also have part of me that doesn't regret it, so then that's how I got the job with the pirates. I I was able to try out, and or I probably I mean, I'm I probably could have done both because a lot of a lot of girls that we played with actually did play. But as soon as I got the job with the pirates, I was like, well, this fulfills it. And the girls or the sorry, the women's, um I I I want to say around the same time or maybe right before also got removed from the Olympics. So I was like, you know, even if I'm great enough to to even do college and or plus, yeah, what's the end result there? Yeah, which should never be a reason you don't. And I would never, I think that's my only regret is to to never allow yourself to to take yourself out of the game or or kind of remove yourself, like always try, don't let fear. Yeah. But so I would say that was the regret. But then I also was able to kind of experience the the the baseball and college life that a lot of my friends didn't get to because we were so busy and and kind of had to juggle both. Yeah. And I kind of got to have fun and still have baseball. Yeah. So another question that I want to ask that's gonna sound like a total sidebar question, but I promise it goes somewhere. Yeah. What like at some point during college, of course, you get the job with the pirates, but that's like not your career. What was your college major? So funny you asked. I switched it about five times. And I think that was one of the also reasons where I was like, I don't really know what I want to do because I had focused so much on sports, and I really just thought I would figure it out. And I did, so I I was half right there. But um, I finally landed on a communications and public relations major. Okay. I was starting to minor in marketing, but I was gonna, I think I was two classes shy, but they were I could graduate before, so I just kind of like no done. Yeah, and I had a counselor like minor sometimes isn't even experienced. And I was like, okay, so sorry, I you uh you could probably sidebar and cut all that out, but nope, it was communication, I love sidebars, and um public relations was my major. So when I did get the job with the pirates, then something clicked where I was like, okay, didn't get it for this reason. I just loved baseball and was really excited about the opportunity, but I was thinking this could then also be your career. Yeah. So when you got the job with the pirates, I there are a couple of things that we I want to know about this. So, one, how did you find it? Yeah. So, like, let's start with that, and then then what was the historical significance of you getting the pirates job? I would like to even uh circle it back to softball, really, is how I found the opportunity. So a one of my best friends who I played softball with, like rec and high school and travel ball, played so college softball with like she was a my friend um Jess was a pitcher for college, and her catcher, Erica, worked at the Pirates. Okay. So she shot shot the t-shirts and the hot dogs in what was called the cannonball crew. That was the OG name. Well the the name, at least when she was on the squad. Yeah. So she shot the t-shirts and shot the hot dogs, and with them playing together, she was like, told Jess, like, you you should try out, and Jess was like, You should come try out with me. So that's actually how that connection happened with the pirates, and we actually tried out to also shoot hot dogs and the t-shirts and be on the cannonball crew, and we didn't make it. Jess and I did not make it, but better opportunity when we were went through the interview process, which was a talent, it was like a two-day call back. You had to get the call back. We got we got the call back, and then we did the tryout. But when my boss at the time basically said, Hey, by the way, you and Jess didn't make it, but we are actually bringing back ball girls. And I saw on your resume that you both have softball experience. If I talk to your coaches, would you guys be interested in trying out to be a ball girl? And we were like, Yes, that's actually exactly way better up our alley. So um that's how that um came to be. And then he talked to our coaches, and then we became the first ball girls that they brought back in 30 years. That's so crazy. Yeah, yeah. So I we were really, really lucky to have that opportunity. And then when he told us, because I was like, a ball girl, what is what is that? And he was like, Well, um, what I'm trying to do is bring back ball girls. They had them in the 70s, and this will be the first time in 30 years. So I got to be a part of, I got a no, but a bigger yes, and then I got to be a part of history, if you will. Yeah, my history, at least. Well, I mean, also just significant, right? That the pirates brought back, you know, girls were able to do that job instead of just ball boys, which is really cool. I have to ask, like, how what are the criteria for shooting t-shirts out of a cannon that you guys did not make that? Yeah, so we uh really it was a personality hire. So they they brought us all in. We had we had to interview, I believe we did a couple round of questions to feel out our personality, and then we would they would, I think they did the deliberations that night. Yeah, they actually did because I remember what me and my friend went out and we were like, well, we either made it or we didn't. And we got we both got the call back, and then we were invited in the morning, and it was like I want to say, I could be exaggerating, like a five or six hour tryout where we had to bring a favorite item and describe it. We had to put together a talent for like a one or two minute talent, and then we did um a lot of group activities where we were doing acting or participating in groups. So a lot of these people put together very good talents. Yeah, I want to say that's where I struggled the most. All I did was the worm and then like rolled on my head. I thought that that I did it. I was like, I don't have a talent. Um, I think my friend did like the Hannah Montana Hoe Down. But a lot of people had really, I mean, thorough dances. Really showed their personalities and good for them because I worked with them all and they were they were so much fun. But um that would be the criteria, I believe. It would just be, and and then I later ha ha ended up working for the the the Buckover Gates. I I I must have gotten my act together there. But um, yeah, I it's big personality, they're looking for fun, big personality, somebody that's really gonna draw and hype up the crowd. I know baseball knowledge isn't always and and also I've worked for a hockey team, you know, sports interest is can be a pro, but they also love people who also don't always know everything about sports because then you know you're you're fresh, you're able to kind of enhance the experience for people that may be coming to the game for the first time and might not know sports, but you know how to relate to them or you know, hype up the crowd and and things like that. So I guess that would be the criteria. Yeah. That and smiling. There you go. You should smile like you're having a good time, right? Yeah. Talk a little bit about how people can find roles like that. So like you get had it like word of mouth, you might. But it's funny, like, I don't think about that. I go to a lot of games. Like we steal our season tickets, we go to at least one or two pirates games every year. We'll go to hockey games. Clearly, there are entire crews of people that are making all of the entertainment happen and like making the games go like in a support role to what the teams are doing. But it's not something I don't like ever see advertisements like, hey, we're hiring for, you know, whatever, shooting t-shirts out of a tannin or whatever. Like, how do people find those jobs? Yeah, you can actually you can go right online on the pirates website. If you scroll all the way down to the bottom, I believe it should say, at least for the pirates and the in the penguins, it should say um pirates' opportunities or or job careers, because they have not only their in-game entertainment is what I did. So as a ball girl and or the people who shoot the t-shirts, and and everybody that makes the game, the in-game experience would be considered in-game, but they also have that's where all of their external opportunities are too. So if you know, maybe the in-game isn't for you, if you want a summer job, or you want to work as an usher, if you want to work in all of their concessions and in different operations, at least the last time I applied, they had both of those opportunities and or interns. And a few years ago, they did do a big announcement on TV that they were looking for pierogi runners and/or opportunities. So here and there I think they will, depending on what experience they're looking for. But yeah, you can usually find it and or you can go right up to them, which I used to love when people would be like, I like your you're you seem cool, I like your job. And then I'm like, Okay, here, do that. So you can always go up to them. They're very both teams that I've worked for, I mean best organizations I've worked for. So if you find if you're there and you find someone, they're good be boy. They'll they'll try to find out. And they'll chat with you and show you where to apply for sure. That's awesome. Pittsburgh, we talked about this. So we're a sports city, we love our teams. We have this also sort of unique unity between the major league teams here. Like you'll see Penn's players showing up at Steelers games and Steelers showing up at Penn's or Pirates games or whatever. You mentioned to me though, when we had chatted, that the community that you built with the Pirates was really important to you and that it allowed you to connect with people differently. Can you talk a little bit more about that? Yeah, I will I would love to because it's it's um it's been my favorite job um in my entire life. And I've got to be a good idea. Which you can tell, like you light up talking about it, by the way. Like I know T-Bags, you can't see her, but like literally grinning from ear to ear talking about working for the pirates, which is awesome. Yeah, it's it's been my my favorite job, and I wish I could do it for the rest of my life. Um, so we'll talk about why you can't in a minute, but oh yeah, if they're listening, I'll come back. No, it's yeah, I really when I started to think about it in my in my last season, I really without sharing my age, right? No, I don't mind, but I I'm really shy of almost half of my life working for the Pirates. Yeah. Which it sounds wild, but when I was in it, I was like, oh, one more season, one more season. Um, so yeah, it started as for the love of the game. And then growing up, my grandfather had had played and even had been invited to I I'm not a hundred percent sure if it was the minors or spring training, it didn't pan out, which I was lucky because then I think I was born, but yeah, no, but he um growing up with my family involved in sports, and then he would always take me to baseball games. Yep. And I just I just grew a love for the pirates down there. And through also softball, when I played for big leagues, it was called big leagues at the time. Now I believe it's called RBI, I believe the the city and or it's expanded out, but it was a opportunity for so we had our recreational, which was our neighborhoods that would play each other. So I I lived in Mount Washington, so we'd play all the surrounding neighborhoods, and then we would play on big league teams or like all-stars, if you will, and then we would play for the City League championship. Gotcha. So that was like our big championship, and the winners always got to play down at the time. It was three rivers. Three rivers, yeah. My the my first time that we got invited for the championship game before before or the game that would have got us into the championship, we lost. So I didn't get to play at Three Rivers, but we ended up getting to play at PNC Park because I think the next year that we qualified. So honestly better. It still honestly would have been simple to play with Three Rivers, but honestly better because it is like the best ballpark in the world. Exactly. So I, you know, from full circle to always going with my grandfather and then being able to actually play on play on the team, I just loved everything about the Pirates, even though sometimes it's a little hard to be a Pirates fancy. Now I can say that I I never loved to say that when I was working. But I um yeah, it's it's a wild ride for sure as a Pirates fan, but that's the long story of how the the opportunity started as just me loving baseball. Sure. And then I was like, oh, I get paid to watch baseball. I love to do it for free, which can be long. I I'll get paid. And I was in college at the time, so I was like, oh, all this money. Yep. And I mean, just to kind of be to be involved in in baseball as a female was a a big opportunity that I I never thought I would get. So I was very excited. And then from there I realized that it was so much more than a job. It was really about I got paid and I got the opportunity to make kids' days. I I could be a person who could give a baseball to a kid for their first time experience. And as a fan, loved it and you know, as growing up, being able to get baseballs like that was the coolest thing. Right. That's what you go to a game hoping is gonna happen. Yeah, yeah. Somebody's foul ball. Right, exactly. So to be able to to give back a to the community or just g give back and make a kid's day. And then I I started to through there, I just started to learn about the kids because we were nine innings and their parents, and I I just I was starting to realize that even if sometimes it wasn't a baseball, maybe it was I would high five kids during a home run or before when we would get an out. We would get to be on the big screen and I would gather as much kids as I could to wave. I was able to kind of impact somebody's day, whether they, you know, they came because they love sports, or maybe now I got a girl involved in sports who never saw a girl on the field. Yeah. And I know, you know, now that might not seem like a big deal, but at the time and just when I grew up, I didn't see any, not a lot, I don't want to say any, but I didn't see a lot of women involved in sports. And now we've progressed and sometimes we take steps back. So I always started to kind of realize that maybe because of me, someone sees that they can do that too, or they or maybe they could get in involved to be interviewing or to be a ball girl, or even maybe they don't even like sports, they just came for the good time. And now they saw somebody else do something cool that they want to pursue their dreams. So that's really why I am just so grateful to have the opportunity to kind of to do that. And I know as a kid, sometimes you know, you have at home life that could be great, and sometimes you don't, and sometimes it's a release, and sports has been able to be that. So to give that back, yeah, I I would do it day in, day out. Yeah. And I I it's always been the best job in the world to kind of just make someone's day has been. I actually really love that because I don't think it's something that I would have thought about in quite that same framework until you were kind of talking through it because you are literally watching as somebody else is maybe they're having their very first professional baseball experience. Maybe, and to your point, maybe they don't even really like sports, but this is like a way that they get to bond with, you know, a family member. At the end of the day, it's also an escape. Whether they're escaping from something bad or just different or whatever, it doesn't matter. But there is that level of like, um, it's escapism, right? Like we go to enjoy things like movies and concerts and sports, and we experience them for a lot of different reasons, but that is also one of them is like escaping what's going on in your in your world. Yeah, and I know that I mean that could be huge in childhood, and you know, I I can say that that's definitely carried me through, and or as an adult, and I worked at the Pirates before my mom had passed, and then after, and I experienced my first Mother's Day without my mom at the Pirates, and I actually didn't realize it was and I was scheduled, was like, oh my, what did I just do? Especially as you know, and and anyone who's listening, a lot of the times on those more emotional days, and I didn't realize because it was my first one, being in public is pretty hard. Yeah, and I went in not realizing, and then staying busy was my plan, and then as soon as I got there, I saw all the moms. And I thankfully at the time I wasn't on the field, I was shooting t-shirts and I was a lead at the time, so I could kind of schedule myself and or other people, not that I abused my power, but I was like, let me put myself on things that I'm not crowdfacing as much. Yeah. And because I did that, I actually met a person behind home plate, a lady who also was who had lost their mom and she was just talking about it in front of me. And I was like, oh, so we were able to connect. But um, she told me she goes every Mother's Day, she goes to the baseball games because she doesn't want to be in public andor any of the restaurants and things like that. And it is an escape for, you know, childhood rocky days, but but they also can be an escape for adults too. Sure, which um helped me through on my first Mother's Day. So yeah. Well, and it yeah, it provided a little bit of a buffer in a way, like, because the opposite of that is like not being scheduled and being at home and and just living that day. Right. Yeah, those firsts are are tough, and the pirates helped you through your first. Yeah. What made you stop working for them after 15 years? It was it was definitely a hard decision, and I I never wanted to stop. And I I had a lot of people chirping, like, I can't do that forever. But then there were some people like, don't give it up. I wish I never gave something up. So I COVID hit, and I I don't want to say this is my big decision, but once COVID happened, it was our first year that we we we weren't in the stadium at all. But I was able to work through COVID because we did a couple events that were that were fun, that they needed some photo ops. And when I returned from COVID, so I was a ball girl from the time I started to COVID only on the field. And then once I came back from COVID, unfortunately, they did have some downsides. Yeah, yeah. Unfortunately, and my boss was one of the people who they let go. It was a it was a different boss than hired me, but he he was great. And so my boss's boss was running around wearing a lot of hats, and she had, I was one of the more because I had been there for so long, one of the more experienced people, and she and I had subbed in for being on the the Bucko Brigade a lot. So she was like, I need you. Are you okay coming off the field? So I kind of removed myself in sort of halfway there. So I was on the field and then I was doing the other, like shooting the t-shirts, and it I I was able to kind of fall in love again with the game, and I was getting a little order where, you know, I loved fielding and I had some of my nicest catches down there, but sometimes they come in hot. Yeah, so you know, as as I'm not, you know, all the other girls were playing a lot more and they were still they were still with it. And I still I still had some nice catches in the end, which is great for me. But I just started to realize like, you know, I gotta be on my Ps and Q's here. And I probably that social aspect, I was like, man, I really I love talking to the fans, but after COVID, they also put up the nets, which I think were great for safety, but I it took away some of the interaction. I don't want to say it took away some of the action, the interaction changed where sometimes I was able to just hop over and sit with, you know, sit with fans and grab some of their seeds or and things like that. And fielding was so much different because you had to play that bounce that I wasn't used to. So I just I want to say just the change kind of transitioned me. And then as I was in that bucket rule, I was loving it, and then everybody who I had worked with started dwindling down, and then it was like, hey Blaze, stay for one more season, and people would stay, and then just as as the younger crowd got involved, I would I just wanted them to have their opportunity too. And and I feel like since I was lead, I was scared to do a lot of games, and with sports, and I love sports and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I just and with the passing of my mom, I was realizing that I was down there a lot where I wanted to maybe be some other places and be a fan because I was starting to get, you know, when we had our playoff loss, I was starting to get really angry that I was like, I need to fall in love again as a fan. So that ultimately that's why is be because I just A wanted to maybe take a step back and and be a fan and or maybe fall in love with the game again in a different way. How long after you stopped working for the Pirates did you work start working for the Pens? Ironically, when I said I wanted to step back, I actually it was my last season, which ends at you know the end of September, maybe October. For the Pirates, it's always September I started working for the Penguins, I believe, that winter. That's insane. Right, right. We were definitely taking a step back for like two months. I was, but you know, the you know, the differences baseball, those home stretches can be, and and I will say I loved it because I loved being down there, but with hockey, I only they only play a few times. They do a lot home in a way, so their stretches aren't eight game stands. They might, I think maybe two or three times in the entire season that they play a Friday, or I don't even know if we really had Friday games, but like a Saturday, Sunday. Like their schedule is very different and they just physically I'm not saying that you know it's more physical or I know there's argues with both. Um I could never skate and get hit and things like that. Right. But they're kind of like football, they have to they have more rest, or they just do the back and forth home and home and away. So it was a step back, but it was I still couldn't leave sports. So I was sad, and then this opportunity came, and the opportunity came because I worked with someone at the Pirates and they needed an extra person. So I was very still not going onto websites looking for jobs, you still like totally worn that like come on down and do this. Yeah, I ironically, that was also the um first squad that they had ever put together, and and that's why one of my friends who I worked with at the Pirates reached out, shout out to Nicole. She reached out to me and she said, Hey, she had previously worked there as driving the Fan Boni and doing a lot of the in-game, and she's been in in-game also for a really long time and is really good at it. She said, We need a few people because they're trying to put together this squad because I believe interns were doing like the in-game, and and they just really wanted to develop more of the in-game atmosphere in in-game squad. So she reached out and yeah, I so I didn't have to apply online, but the following year I did. And I know, I know for sure this year they are looking for people to apply online. So if you are interested, tea baggers, definitely go to that website and shout out to that squad also, because they are great. But yeah, I I was very, I mean, softball and sports just kept connecting. Yeah. But the website is also great. Yeah, it's really actually just carried me throughout my life. Yeah. It's funny, like in I think I want to say that my very first not per no, not professional game. I so like when I was a kid, my mom worked for a company um outside of Baltimore, and she used to get tickets for things in Baltimore and things in Philly. Oh, okay. For the Pittsburgh teams, like her, so she was a buyer for her company, so her vendors would like always have you know tickets and stuff. So I want to say my very first hockey game actually was not in Pittsburgh, it was Penn's Flyers in Philly when I was like a maybe a teenager, maybe my early 20s. What a first game to go to. I know, isn't that nuts? And then um, oddly enough, because the one job that I worked, like the HQ was in Colorado. And so I would actually get to Av's games more often than I would get to pens games. And so it is funny when you talk about things like in-game, you know, entertainment, it's like a thing I actually noticed was like the Avalanche did that really, really well in a way that I was like, oh, we don't have that same kind of experience here in Pittsburgh. And I can say, like now, you know, five, six, seven years later, we actually do. Pens games are super fun. Right, right. And and then that was their whole development because the pirates, and I don't I don't even know if I I should say this like that. You don't work for them anymore. You can. You can. But you know, when I started with the pirates and just being a pirate fan, to be honest, if you weren't there in the 90s, you weren't coming always for the wins and the talent. Sure. You were coming for, you know, the beautiful experience, and I think that's why we've able, you know, been able to sell out. And I don't want to get started on that rant. But I, you know, starting with the pirates, like the the that fan experience or that experience for anybody was huge, and they were huge in in developing that. I think while I was there at least once or twice, we got number one in-game, got voted, and I yeah, I don't know, I believe that was Nashley or how so shout out to that team and and my boss that put that together. We got voted number one because they put so much time and effort into it, and then to uh forward the the penguins who were on a really good winning streak and you know have all the cups that they have, and and you know, the pirates experienced that, but not recently, where the pens way more recent, but then you know it started to get a little tougher. I I I believe that they realize hey, there there is more to to that we we we need to spice up. Yeah, a if we're not bringing home the cups, but also two, because you need or or you can reach more people than just sports fans. Like you said, they're there are a lot of fun. I've uh everyone I've not gonna say, everyone I've experienced, but a lot of the kids and the people, especially girls, because when I believe when little girls are just naturally you see a girl, you're like, hey, I didn't know girls were in sports, or girls weren't hockey fans. Shout out to all the the the women's hockey and the girls' hockeys that are coming up. But I know growing up, I don't remember a girl hockey player. And I feel like when you're younger, if you don't see that a lot, you don't even realize that that's an opportunity. So girls would come up to us all the time, like, I don't even know the sport we're playing, but like I love your jackets, or I this is so much fun. I got to see iceberg or you know, the parrot or a free t-shirt to people is great. And I mean, I still love it, and I have a bunch, but yeah, it I I will say that that was their goal. And I know Philly Spall Girls were what the pirate ball girls, at least coming back, he he kind of wanted to mimic because of how involved in in the reaction the fans had to all of their in-game that makes a ton of sense. I mean, Philly is a sports town too, and when you get to see something like that being successful, like why wouldn't you try to do it? It makes sense because I I would say arguably in a way, we're almost a bigger sports town. Philly's just a bigger town, right? Right? And so I know, right? Yeah, we should have been actually leading the way. I know. It's a little disappointing here. I know. Hopefully by the time uh, you know, your your kids and grandkids will we will be, right? Right. We'll be leading the way. But yeah, I would I would like to argue that too, because I always say Pittsburgh's like we're we're a little city, but we think we're a big city. We do, but yeah, and Philly is actually really big, but I I would argue, I mean, we have the we have the best fans, but no shade to Philly too, because I feel like we're in the same state. So I like to support both unless we're playing each other, but you're way nicer than I am. Way nicer. You know, it's a recent thing. Fire spans, a couple of friends have the same. Oh yeah, well, I yeah, I didn't say which fans. Right. Yeah, this would be my least favorite for sure. Yeah. So I want to shift gears a little bit because so so during this time, you lost your mom while you were still working for the pirates, but it was like pretty late in in like the length of time that you were working for the pirates. And we did kind of talk a little bit about how they kind of created a little bit of a buffer for you. Right. Um for sure. But I think outside of that, I know one of the things that when we were talking about your story, and you know, you were like 34 when you lost your mom, and I was 37 when I lost my mom. And I just found like we had like these oddly relatable sort of commonalities. Your dad passed when you were very, you were like four, right? Right. My dad is still alive, but I have zero relationship with him. So you were talking about like being an orphan when you lost your mom, and I very much was the same but for different reasons, right? An orphan. I'm just curious to know, like, obviously, you found this sort of refuge in your sports communities, but how were you able to, or were you able to process your grief like after losing your mom? Yeah, I um I was very lucky to have sports because I mean I had a sense of community, and even and when it happened, I mean the the organization was they they made even the week of the the funeral for my family very great. Yeah. So so that it really did carry me and then and even through the the penguins, that was my first winter without my mom, and I I probably would have been a different person, I think, being alone in the winter blues, yeah, and then the regular blues. But plus on holidays come and but with that being said, I I I didn't realize it then, but I I do believe I didn't let myself grieve, just you know, how we had talked a little earlier. I don't believe I did. I I right away, I think, you know, your your brain goes into survival mode, or at least I I thought my brain did, and I went into this. I'm going to celebrate my mom's life, and I wanted to kind of be more positive and think of what I had experienced versus what I lost. And by doing that, I I I tried to keep myself busy. So sports was great because it was a great distraction, but then I found that grief as it always does catches up with you. So I I was probably, you know, I don't want to say probably, I I didn't allow myself to grieve at at first. And I think with grief and experiencing it, logically saying this, it sounds wild, but I thought it was gonna kind of have an end point, even though I knew I was gonna be hurting for the rest of my life. But I think my brain, again, in survival mode, I kind of was waiting, I guess, for that other shoe to drop, yep, or stop, and then I could move on. And I never wanted to move on from my mom, but you know, I just I didn't want to be sad anymore. So I think being busy, I didn't allow myself to grieve. And then when it caught up with me, it it it it like really caught up with me. It's not linear. I think that was like a big lesson for me, and I don't know if you've learned that or are learning it, but I think for me it wasn't even so much looking for an end point. I think it was holy shit, like why I I would have days or weeks or whatever of being totally fine, and then all of a sudden something would hit me like a ton of bricks, or something would remind me of like some deeply, you know, core memory or or whatever. And yeah, the processing part was was tough. And I like I didn't have sports the way that you did. I I had like my job, right? Right. You know, you have all the things that like you have to keep checking all the boxes and going through the motions and doing all the things. And I think what's awesome about your story is you did have like this community around you. So you might not have been processing it, but it was gonna be a nice landing spot for you, like when you when it did, when that ton of bricks actually did hit you and you had to start actually processing things. So that's I mean, it's cool. It's cool that you had such a great community and network. Yeah, I did I did. I I was very fortunate, and then I I think I I didn't realize how many people uh you know, by occupying myself too, then I came across while I was at work, some you know, somebody's parent got sick or something. So like it was I was very uh fortunate to have that community, but sometimes um I I say that with a grain of salt because I'm like, man, it didn't need to hit me at the point it did. Because then I was like, oh man, I feel like I kind of like fell flat on my face, and then I kind of went through this period where I was like embarrassed that I tried to just stay busy. Really? Yeah. Sometimes I think because then it would catch up to me at other events where like when I went to my um and I'm sure that you've experienced this too, like your first bridal shower or weddings and things like that. And then, you know, I I never wanted to kind of be a person that which I I believe is a good thing to always feel your emotion. And I didn't always allow myself to that. And but sometimes when you do it for the first time, uh, you know, or you know, you do it at events or things, sometimes I wish that I would have maybe let myself grieve a little more in the beginning, but then I realized through experience that it's not linear, and that's what I tell people all the time. I can't take my own advice, and I'm I'm sure you're the same. None of us do. I know I almost find a piece that it's not linear because something about that is also blissful because then you know that then you do have better days, and and it's not just uh finish and you can live those experiences with happiness and sadness. Yeah, I think it's a really that it's a good perspective to have. I don't know that I had experienced that same framework for a really long time. I think my I didn't have embarrassment for when I did grieve. It was more just like, oh, duh, like you fucking dumbass. Yeah. You know, like because you know, you are also busy holding up other people. You have other family members that you're you're you know, like you're a support system for them. And I don't know if this is how you are, but I know sometimes I struggle to share a burden with somebody else. Like I'll just keep my own shit to myself. Right, right. But I'm there for you. Right. I will help you. Like, what do we need to do to get you through this moment? And um, so yeah, it's I think that made it harder for me at times. Just not like, I don't know how to talk about it to somebody else. Like, or when somebody says, Well, what can I do for you? How can I help you? I'm like, I don't fucking know. Right. Like, I don't even know what I need, right? Right. Right. So so I would just put it away. I'd be like, no, I'm fine. You know what? That's such a uh a good perspective. I'm not good because I know it's a sad point, but such a good perspective. We all deal with it. Right, right. Right. A good perspective in in I know we had both talking about losses at different times in our lives. Losing my father at such a young age. I feel previous to losing my mom, I feel like I was one of those people, and I hope, at least, was that always kind of put my feelings aside. And I know I still do, but I I always did, and you know, and I think we do that as women, right? It was just, and I think that's why I struggled so much that I kind of was kind of going back and forth. But I was always that person until when I had lost my mom, that shift my entire world. And I got the great advice, unfortunately. My my best friend had lost her mom, which was a second mom to me when I was in college. So I will say prior to my mom was that was one of the hardest losses that I've ever experienced. And I kept putting that in my head where I was like, Well, I, you know, she got this many years, but I got this many. And now and I think I'm hopefully getting a little better where I can listen, but I and maybe embarrassed wasn't the word, but now sometimes I think because I didn't let myself grieve, now and I'm getting a little better, but it was just starting to pour out where I couldn't control it, or you know, it would hit me at times. And when I say embarrassed, I might have been like, I had too much wine at a shower, and now I'm crying, and I don't want to cry because it it's not about me. When it it's okay, two things can be true, but I think your perspective is is is is really hard because you just always put those feelings aside, and then now I'm oversharing, and now I took, which I you know, I'm very grateful for the community, but now I took two hours about my you know, my feelings, my mom, and that like I might not have touched on any what uh anybody else is going through. I'm like, man, how many other people's experiences did I miss? Not yeah, you know, not not even putting it in. Because we're so on ourselves, though. I know I didn't mean that to be that. No, but it's but that's but that's real, right? Right. You're like you're the person who's like providing an experience for people and escape for people. That's like your go-to position. And now you feel like, oh shit, I just am taking that away from people because I've got my own stuff, right? Right. That I'm going through. Right. And that's why when you said that I was kind of like a light bulb, because I was like, wait, that's that used to, that used to be me. And then now I've been probably for the past year been beating myself up and I'm getting a lot better, where I'm like, now I'm seeing, unfortunately, you know, I think coming out of an I would say like a grief fog. Did you feel that? Like you kind of didn't know what happened for the first year, and then you're coming out and then you're learning and learning and up and down. But um I now feel that I'm learning to, and or unfortunately, more friends are experiencing the same thing. So I'm trying to teach them like you you can be anyway, you can be, you know, you can put yourself aside, you know, and it might catch up with you in in, but that's for your journey, and that's okay too. And in my journey, even though you know, I don't want to do it at a holiday where I just cry for four hours in front of my family or friends and things like that. That's okay too, because that's what people have shared for me too. Like, you got to give yourself grace. You have to give yourself grace. And I'm saying that, and I feel like I probably just talked about how I didn't, but uh, you know, it is something because it's a process to learn it, right? Yeah, no, I think that makes total sense. I'm also I have a little bit more time behind mine than you have as well. So it's like I think that that's exactly right, though. Right. I know you had mentioned that your mom was like, she was really supportive of you. She encouraged you to push yourself. In fact, I believe that that was the first time I learned the term stoop kid because you were talking about how yeah, she was like, You're not gonna be the stoop kid, like go drive the car, go over the bridge, like yeah, whatever. But what are some of the life lessons that you feel like you've taken from her, from your time participating in sports, like being part of Pittsburgh sports organizations? What are those things that you kind of have taken from that? And do you give, like, I know you've mentioned coaching, do you give back some of those same life lessons or build upon those life lessons by giving back and and coaching? Yeah, my mom, my she was you know, very, very supportive, especially in sports, which was which was great because she liked watching sports and like going to them. So supportive and and not as she didn't coach me, which was great because I had a lot of friends, so I was lucky that, but I got the coaching in the backseat. But she always always was didn't want me to be a stupid or the fear of not doing something because I cared what people thought, but she was very very much pushing us out of our comfort zone. Or so those were my biggest lessons in in to um to dance. She loved to dance and have a good time, probably also to a fault. But I uh I think that also comes from like sometimes I think being shy. I just I didn't always want to dance or I love to dance. I love music, my family's a big music. Um, so she never kind of wanted me to be on the sidelines, probably watching me literally sit on the sidelines. She was like, just do it, just go and and dance. So those would those would be my biggest yeah. You only live one time. Yeah, exactly. Right? Just go do the things, right? Yeah, she definitely showed me that. That's awesome. That's really awesome. I was lucky, yeah. Okay, so some this thing that I do at my own kitchen table um is the three good things about your week. I don't know if you took a look at that or not. I did I did. So I started doing this because my kids would come home from school and you would ask them how their day was, and they would say, fine. And so this thing that I started doing at the dinner table would be like, you have to tell me three good things about your day, and it can't be lunch or recess. Right. Um just don't like force them. But it's expanded out over time, and so we do it at like big family dinners and and we'll like open it up to like three good things about your week instead of you know just the day. So um I would love it, please, if you would share with the T-Beds three good things about your week rolling seven days. Okay, so I'm gonna scratch off lunch and recess. Oh my god. If we had recess still now as adults, right, that would a hundred percent be acceptable on your list. Right, then I'll hopefully uh I I can keep that one then. Yeah, I do, I do. I'm just such a lunch person too. I love lunch. Mine are probably very, I don't, very corny, but I woke up today is is my first one because it's having a bad day. I'm like, man, you woke up and sometimes when people say that to me, I'm like, oh yeah, okay. But it's uh I think a good reminder, right? Especially we know. Sometimes that's all it is. Yeah, you know, right. So I love it. That is my first one. Being here with you and sharing my story and getting to hear about your experiences in in your mom in grief, um, has been really therapeutic, and I think that's a big part of my journey is just being able to kind of experience it with people. Unfortunately, you guys have experienced it too. Sure. So to to do that and kind of talk about my mom, I think talking through memory, I think, helps people, good and bad, you know, kind of totally agree. Totally agree. I'm really appreciative of just you being able to listen and give me the opportunity. Yeah. And I'm I think I loop two and three into because I wrote to uh share my experience and listen more, but I I got to listen to you, which is one thing I I want to say, probably undiagnosed ADHD. I I literally get so excited that I I talk and ramble that I want to slow down and listen. So I I was really trying as we were talking. Um probably like death staring you because I was like, listen, don't don't interrupt. So being able to listen too, because I feel listening more is actually actually more beneficial for me. Yeah. I I love that and I think it first of all, if that's a thing that you are attempting to do, you will do it. Like you're it's if it's something that you're aware of that you actually want to start doing more of, you will 100% do it. I think it is part of why I started doing this, is I I do like when people want to share their stories, but I also like having conversations with people. And I love building relationships and building rapport. And part of that is listening. And it's like sometimes I am thinking about something that I want to say, and I have to stop doing that. Like it's not about what I want to say. And and yes, there are moments where I want to be relatable for sure. But we all want to do that. That's how we interact, right? So it's important, like, of course, you're gonna keep talking, but yeah, I love that, you know, taking a step back and like we always we tell the grandbabies, like, put on your listening ears, turn them on. I love that. Yeah, they will literally like make a motion, like they're turning on their ears. But it is such an important part of conversation, so yeah, I I have to work at that myself. No, I actually think you're real, I think you're really good at it because I feel like I talk the whole time and you really listen. But I know. But it's also why you're here. No, I think you're really, I think you're a really good listener and and you by your responses, I can tell that you're you are full focused and or listening and then and then replying. So you're doing really good with that. Well, thank you. I didn't think so. I I wouldn't have never I would have never thought that it's something you thought you needed to work on. I think it's something we all need to work on for for sure. And I think part of it for me that goes hand in hand is is being curious. And I feel like as long as you're curious, you're going to listen more. And so I also sometimes you know make a concerted effort to like tune in, be intentional, and be curious. But I love that. Be intentional. But this is help, this helps me do that too. Like, I it it is about you. This is not about me. Right. I appreciate that. I think I thank you for having me. Yeah, no, those were three really awesome things, and I appreciate you being here. Thank you so much.